The Promise Keeper Devotional for Children

 Yaay! The long awaited devotional for kids by yours truly is out!  

To get a free Ecopy kindly send an Email to: wunmiadeniyi2014@yahoo.com

💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

Conversing with the devil: Memoirs of a Warrior

It was one of those days I was home alone and recuperating. I had just been discharged from the hospital and had been receiving visitors.  A duo from work had just left and suddenly I was bored and restless, hoping another guest will come in soon enough as it appeared that the pain in my back subsided when I had people around.

As I sat motionless on the floor, I could feel the pain in my back increase steadily from a 5 to 6, 7 to 8 and then I heard a wicked laughter, a continuous laughter, I looked around , I felt a presence but saw no one and then I heard him say; ‘It is time! God was good enough to make you have your two kids on the birthdays of your sisters …’ and he continued to laugh. I started to pant as I tried to shift my bosom on the floor in other to reach for my phone. By this time, the pain was beyond excruciating, and I was frustrated cause I couldn’t stand to reach my phone.

 For a few seconds I processed his words as he laughed while I cried and then, all of a sudden, I started to shout: ´You lie! I am not going anywhere! You are a liar!  I reached my phone and made a call through…

Only those that saw me in the hours that followed can explain what happened next and next and next.

Rewind to that conversation…hmm… I cannot pen down all of it but I can say that indeed, the devil is one smart fella. Please take a moment to Check out his conversation with Jesus in the book of Matthew Chapter 4 and gain some insight. The devil often uses subject matters that will interest you. For me, it’s Family, Life and Death. Yes Death.

 You see, I have never really feared to die. Since I was a child, I had reasoned that death was better than pain. Especially the pain from sickle cell crisis. Honestly, the height of that pain is higher than what I felt when pushing out my two kids. I wrote out my Epitaph at 16 and for each crisis after that, I happily imagine my tomb, my burial, my death.  All that changed when I started to have children. It’s like there’s more reason to fight…

On that day, the devil tried to mess with me and for a moment it appeared he had succeeded. But by the time I snapped back (Thanks to all the amazing people constantly praying for me) he knew he had messed with the wrong woman!

What has the devil told you? Did it sound reasonable? Do you believe it? Have you been thinking about it? In my case, I kept thinking about his words while on my sick bed, I thought he might be right, I even started to vocalize my last wishes, I called my loved ones, I wanted to  prepare them too…But somewhere along the line, I started to remember God’s promises. Indeed, he alone knows the thoughts that he has for me, thoughts of good and not of evil, to give me an expected end( Jeremiah 29:11)

Are you living with a medical, occupational or judicial death sentence? Or perhaps you are just a proactive fella who has taken the words in Ecclesiastes 7:4 to heart. Whichever the case, life is indeed short so put your best foot forward and live your best life today. 

Be good, do good and love God for the only way to live your best life is to please God.

I tell you; God wants us to think of our death day more than our birthdays- See Ecclesiastes 7: 2- Do not wait till you are on a sick bed before you start thinking about death. Not everyone has a sick bed experience, your death might just be sudden. So, do the needful, TODAY.

 As for Mr Devil, he will always come around but just ignore him. Don’t dwell on his words. As the saying goes, you can’t stop a bird from flying over your head but you can prevent it from nesting there. Like a bird, shoo his thoughts away and focus on God’s word. Whether we die today, tomorrow or in years to come, let’s be eternity minded…

Shalom!

Childlike Conversations

As I dressed up for my four-year-old daughter one morning, the following conversation ensued;

LO1: Mummy, who gave us this house?

Me: We rented it; I mean we paid to live here for some time.

LO1: I thought it was Jesus that gave us, you always thank Jesus for the house...

Me: Yes, Jesus gave us the money to rent this house.

LO1: So, Jesus can give money??

Me: Well, yes, Jesus gives us the grace to work and get paid so we can pay for the house.

Then LO2(Age 2) who has been listening interjects by asking; “Mommy, who is Jesus?

Me: Laughing out Loud, I change the topic……….

A few days after, it was time for us to break bread as a family and I realized I had run out of the usual brand of communion wine. So, I decided to use Ribena (Kiddies Drink)I made sure to close the kitchen door while I emptied the Ribena into the transparent cups we use for communion. 

Yet, immediately I took the tray out and called for prayers, LO2 noticed the colour and said “mommy what is this?” I said, “its communion now”.  I lowered the tray so he could clearly see the communion wafer and the cups and he started to laugh while his sister began to lead the communion choruses.

After we had prayed, we all, in the usual manner,  broke our bread and ate it, thereafter we took the cup; while the rest of us echoed the Blood of Jesus, My son, picked his own cup, tasted it and said,  “it’s not the blood of Jesus jor, its Ribena!”  

I said to him, “since it’s in this cup and we have prayed, it has now become the blood of Jesus!”  He said “No, mommy No, it’s Ribena.” His dad beckoned to me and said to him, "just manage it son, I will get the real blood of Jesus tomorrow". End of Discussion.

Countless other conversations like this have existed and I cannot say I have always given the right answers. But Each time I replay these conversations in my head, I am awed! Little wonder why our Lord Jesus encouraged us to have Childlike faith. (Matthew 18:3).

Oh, how I love children, the pureness of their heart is unparalleled!  In a way, I never really want to tell them the real answers to their questions just yet. Maybe,  I’m overly conscious that Children grow so fast, one minute they are pure, clueless and curious and the next minute they become knowledgeable teachers to their parents.

Yet, I sometimes, feel bad when I review our conversations and think that I have not successfully satisfied their curiosity or   given apt answers to their questions. While, I enjoy their childishness in this season, I pray for wisdom to tutor, mentor and direct them aright.

Quite frankly, even though I yell when they act as the children that they are, in my closet, I laugh really hard. Yes, it almost always makes me laugh! it makes me happy. It gives me Joy…

Do you have questions you need God himself to answer? I encourage you to accept the gospel of Jesus like a child (Luke 18:17) and you can be sure that God will reveal himself to you with the answers you need! (Luke 10:21).

Meanwhile mommies, aunties, daddies and uncles, let your children be children, good children, and enjoy the season!

Cheers!

My Grandma's Recipe

I’m neither a Dooney or a Sisiyemmie and I generally do not love to cook even though I have always had to; mostly out of a sense of responsibility as the first child in a large family or as a wife and mom. In any case, for whatever it’s worth, I can cook! Shout out to all those that say that my husband is a better cook. LOL!

While, Sisiyemmie and Dooney are my favourite food bloggers, my cooking style is largely influenced by my maternal grandmother. I did not realize how much influence she had on me until I became a mom. She passed exactly 12 years ago. Yet, in the past one year I have missed her more than ever before. sometimes I just wish she was here… Here to help me… to advise me…and most especially to see how far I have come. I feel like she will be so proud. It’s true that you don’t know the value of what you have until you lose it…. My people, let’s enjoy anything we have now oh…

So, Mama the Mama, as we fondly called her, was a strong, caring and vibrant grandma. She was always full of life and energy. She helped her only daughter (my mom) take care of her family in any and every way she could. she was our cook, cleaner, laundryman, u name it! She had a great sense of humour and yet she was principled and firm! She was about 76 years old when she died and up till a few months before she took ill and passed, she still always came to our house to clean and hand-wash every available laundry! Telling her not to do it was synonymous to a heart break for her. If she didn’t find clothes to wash, she’ll wash all the bed-sheets, blinds and curtains! Till date, I miss my grandma every time I see my dirty curtains…

This piece is essentially about some lessons I learnt from my grandma so let’s delve right into it:

·         Time over Toys: Mama’s most popular phrase to my parents was: Ra Ra Ra, Ra, Buy, Buy, Buy, Buy, Se yen lokan! My dad worked in the bank and my mom had moved to Abuja to work so spending time with my parents was a fantasy. As if to make up for the time, my parents got us toys or whatever presents we requested especially to reward good behaviour or grades and when mama sees our presents, she will always shout 'rararara'! Then, to us, it was like; 'why is this woman such a kill-joy! Why wouldn’t she want our parents to buy us things we like! But now, I look back and know for sure that all she meant was: mehn, these kids need you more than all these. … I have learnt therefore that the time you spend with your kids even though unappreciated is worth more than any thing else money can buy. Kids grow so fast and before you know it, they don’t need you around anymore!

·         KARAMASIKI:  I think this word is the deepest Yoruba word I know. My grandma is not Yoruba but she speaks Yoruba fluently. I have heard her use the word a gazillion times. It’s a word she couldn’t translate to English but I found the meaning in Mama’s attitude to her grand-kids. From Mama, I  found the word karamasiki to mean a show of  deep, all round care or concern for one’s children. Even as an adult,  Mama was interested in my studies, my relationships, my health….Hmm…Mama over-karamasiki….and honestly I pray not to over -do it like Mama…one time it appeared I was  beginning to cross the line from karamasiki to over-karamasiki and a timely and  simple statement by my Children’s first teacher, Mrs Ayoola, put me in check!  she said and I quote: ‘Mummy, Let go and Let God! And since then, for everytime I begin to fret over the care of my children, I hear those words and I calm down. Indeed, our children belong to God, we should learn to let HIM takeover…

·         Frugal yet Healthy meals:  Mama taught me that you need not rob a bank to feed growing children. She’ll always say to my mom: ‘Mary, ounje omode o need gbogbo eleyi’ i.e feeding children does not require this much. While my mom likes to cook with a mix of meat parts(orisirisi) and condiments and then give us little so we don’t waste it, mama will cook with less and make you eat a lot more. In retrospect grandma’s food is almost always better and healthier! I smell agbarobobo with dry fish as I type i.e  cornflour soup with bitterleaf that only mama can cook perfectly…

Today, all thanks to mama, I can cook a decent meal for my family with minimum resources and anytime my resources are limited, I cook with a knowing that mama, if she could look into my pot, will give me a thumbs up.

·         Owo leyan fin tunkan se:  simply put, this means, Use your hands! My grandma had magical fingers, No matter how dirty an item is, no matter the stains, if mama’s hand touches it, it will become sparkling clean! So much so that I hide my priced jeans or dresses away from her to prevent her from over-washing them. Interestingly, she never really needed a tile cleaner or any expensive soap or chemicals to do any cleaning. And when you ask her, ‘Mama ki lefi fo? She will say owo leyan fin tun kan se which literally means:  It is your hands that you use to fix things. Today, when I am tempted to leave a thing dirty because I have run out of my favorite brand of soap or chemicals, I hear Mama’s voice telling me to use my hands and pronto I get the job done!

·         Never Visit Empty: It was almost a taboo for Mama to go visit anyone without taking something to give to her host. These days, people calculate the cost of commuting to visit the host and consider it a worthy sacrifice. But my grandma believed in giving no matter how small. Mama, won’t come to our house, which was her second home without something! From Ajegunle Bread to tangerines, KuliKuli, Chinchin, not to talk of all her special condiments to cook soup and make agbo.  Thanks to mama, I feel awkward whenever I have to visit anyone especially my niece and nephews without any goodies. Though I want my nieces and nephews to love me for me and not the gifts I bring, I will not slack in showing all my children, in any way possible, that it’s better to be a giver than a receiver!

·         Don’t die intestate! Mama had no formal education, yet she was a very wise and intelligent woman. She saved my mom the hassle of a traditional burial ceremony by including her burial arrangements in her will. She could neither read nor write but she had someone write for her as she dictated her words. We found that she reviewed her wills intermittently from the dates on them. They were handwritten on old papers and she had them kept safely in her room. Thank God my mom found them! Mama didn’t have much, yet the little she had, she distributed in her will. If mama can make such arrangements, can someone tell me why wealthy educated people die intestate and cause trouble for those they leave behind?

·         Owuro Lojo! I have typed over 500 words already so I have to stop here! But not without an interpretation at least. Owuro lo’jo simply means Morning time is the best time! And yes, Mama was a morning person, you can’t catch her in bed by 7am. As I type, it’s almost impossible to see my toddlers in bed by 7am. Hopefully, when they became teenagers, there won’t be need for too much talk on the importance of rising early to do the needful.  Talo ma fi jo!

In retrospect, I can say that my grandmother taught me so much more than words will permit. I am grateful my kids have their grandparents and I am sure they are taking learnings already.

Mama the Mama! It’s exactly twelve years you departed this planet…  Oma Ebije, Abiamo toto! Sun re oh! A o pade leti odo…

The Last Rule of Happiness

When I was about 16, I read a piece that highlighted the 5 rules of happiness and  the rule that resonated the most in my mind was the last rule which is "Expect Less".

It became a lodestar for me and I wrote it down in every new journal. This guiding principle of mine has indeed structured my thought pattern as it pertains  to  almost all life issues; So much so that  when a person complains of another person or thing, my response is almost always, "What did you expect" or 'it is expected'...

Guess what happened to Mrs Expectation Manager recently? Hmmm. Pekele pekele arugbo jegbese tani o San? Sorry  I cant interpretre that(smiles) Just follow my story....

It happened in the beautiful month of September, the year of our 7th Anniversary.  Le Hubs was going to be out of town on the precise anniversary date, so I gave him his anniversary gift early. And trust me, his reaction was priceless! I didn't need a soothsayer to tell me how much he loved and appreciated the gifts. 

For me, receiving gifts is certainly not my primary love language and I usually don't expect gifts. (My people will say it's difficult to buy me a gift)But this time, with the way Le Hubs was dotting over the gifts he received, I began to expect mine...innocent remarks like, "waoh, this bag is beautiful" or "babe where's your ring or where's your black shoe", suddenly meant more to me because I considered everything he mentioned, a potential gift. 

In fact, the mention of  "ring" made me go the extra mile to  fix my nails in anticipation. I had not fixed my nails in four years but because he mentioned "ring" at that time, I fixed my nails in anticipation of the grand proposal I never had  prior to marriage. Hehehe! Imagine a woman that has been married for 5years expecting a grand social media-type proposal! Lol! Such is the power of expectation..

Interestingly, his trip was cancelled and he was going to be around on the anniversary date. However,he seemed to continually disapprove my plan for the great Saturday E.g. I ask, honey can we go to the beach on Saturday, he says Nope, Sunday is better....and many more negative responses as it related to that Saturday. So, I convinced myself that it was because he had a surprise for me..maybe the grand proposal.. Tell me ...why I no go fix nails? 

But lo and behold,  on that great Saturday, Le Hubs sees my wassap status update and with a tint of sarcasm, says: "Oh! Its Today! Happy Anniversary oh!...

Kai! Fury welled up within me but I kept my cool...in the hope that his remark was just a joke.....Alas, it was no joke! My precious husband, who is usually very good with dates, did not even remember the day, talkless of giving a gift!

That day, I literally understood the meaning of "expectation cut short"! Chai! My people, your expectation shall not be cut short!

I can't put together in words, how much I have seen and know that  Expectation begats Entitlement, Entitlement begats Greediness and Greediness begats Wickedness! 

Unmet expectations is the root cause of  marital problems, sibling rivalry and most relationship issues.

I charge you therefore dear brethren, manage your expectation with due diligence...You owe the world many things but NO ONE owes you anything...

Of a truth, we sometimes have legitimate expectations and its OK to so have, but, I  think its healthier to Expect Less for lofty expectations lead to lofty disappointments...

Hitherto, Cheers to met expectations!




PS: Le Hubs made up for his transgression in many ways than one. Of a truth, I'm a handful, yet, he  is to me, the best husband in the whole Wide World.

Sickle Cell Retinopathy: #Memoirs of a Warrior#

My ordeal with Sickle Cell Retinopathy was a frightening one. I had gotten used to the occasional bouts of pain in my joints. And  Whether it was mild or severe,my mantra for each crisis was and remains : "This too shall soon pass".

Many doctors considered me an interesting patient because I'm often vivacious,  loquacious and full of an infectious positive vibe that the pain would go away sooner than later . But this time it was different...

It started one Friday in the office when I felt like something got into my eyes. I went to the bathroom to wash the affected eye in a bid to get out the dirt but without any luck. I sought the help of a colleague  to look into my eye and she affirmed that there was nothing in it. 

An hour later, I discovered that I could barely see with the affected eye and I started to panic...By the next morning, the eye was inflamed and I looked like a battered woman. 

I ran off to the closest eye hospital where I was diagnosed with uvieties but the young doctor who appeared a tad confused, together with some medication gave me an appointment to see his boss, the Consultant opthatmologist, on the Tuesday that followed.

By the appointed Tuesday, the vision in both eyes had worsened and I started to really feel sick in my entire body... I was admmitted in the hospital for a Visoclusive Crisis but this time it didn't feel like it will pass soon, it felt like paralysis; the fear of completely losing my sight paralysed my mind. 

Meanwhile, We (My dad and husband) visited the consultant as required and a proper diagnosis was given...

After a couple of tests, an urgent vitrectomy in d left eye and a laser in the right was necessary. I was referred to the best eye clinic were the procedures could be done(Eye Foundation Ikeja) yet the doctors would not guarantee that my vision will be restored. I was  scared to death...

The multitude of factors responsible for the fear cannot be put in words but in the midst of the storm, I did not loose my faith. 

I'm thankful for a faithfilled marriage to the most outstanding husband in the world, I'm thankful for amazing siblings, parents, friends, family and a good Church too..

The much needed support received from the aforelisted strengthened my faith and I began to feel better in my body.

My mantra,  This too shall soon pass came back to life as the vivacious Wunmi returned. I talked and laughed more and I looked even more closely at everyone, especially my children, just in case I was visually not going to  see them again, and in my closet I cried more.... It was a really scary time....very scary.

One month after a succesful sugery in the left eye. The same symptoms started in the right.  The Right eye had been Lasered, yet the  vision became really blurry. 

My first reaction was  "Oh  no, not again!" but I was not half as frightened as I was the first time, for, this time, I knew exactly what was going on and I knew what to do.

In the words of my doctor, Conservative Management of the eye started and is  still on going...

I have deliberately left out the medical  explanations but it is hoped that  every warrior reading this would get curious enough to read up on Sickle cell Retinopathy. Indeed, Knowledge is  Power.  

Most Importantly, ensure you have an eye examination as often as practicable and of course, Hydrate! Hydrate! Hydrate! The more water you drink the better for YOU.

Cheers!

Pity me Not.#Memoirs of a Warrior#

This piece is an outflow of an unending  discussion, one in which I may have been perceived as proud or ungrateful. But I am thankful for a diary wherein I can express myself without the fear of being judged. I'll try to make it short though, for YOUR sake. Yes, YOU.* smiles*

I have had a fair share of what I call surprise pity parties*¹ and truth be told, its exhausting!  I think occasional  pity parties can be lovely in a way. The attention, the show of love from friends and enemies alike could be really encouraging but as the frequency increases, the more u see, the more u hear, the more you feel the pity! 

There's a rush of emotions as I type and I don't know where to start from to make you understand my perspective...

Once, a colleague said to me: "you should consider yourself lucky that the owner of this company has a child with your condition such that the management of this  company can understand your pain..."

My response: "it's the more reason I want to leave..." I had just returned from a sick leave and I was giving  her reasons to resign and then she made that statement.

In my mind, I'm like really!! Like I'm  supposed to be happy and make it an excuse to lazy about or what? Though unintended, Her words hit me in the wrong place and I was all the more determined to leave.

The company had magnanimously granted me a second one-month sick leave in less than 10 Months and I was already getting pitiably popular for being off -work on grounds of ill-health which I didn't like.

The first surprise pity party in the company was lovely;  when I returned to work, I met a beautiful card signed by my colleagues on my table. The welcome-back made me feel like a celebrity and I enjoyed the accolades. 

The second was also acceptable but I wasn't gonna wait for a third one.  I was not willing to give people a chance to pity me perpetually. 

I have learnt to read between the lines of Love and Pity but the frequency of crisis especially in a  new environment makes the line so faint. Yet, I could see and in retrospect  see even more clearly  that there was more pity than love...

  

I'ld rather be loved and accepted because of my character and the quality of my work than be made pitiably popular by reason of a health condition. Alas, the later is usually the case.

Same was the case many years ago in my first secondary school. It was a small boarding house and I was the only sickle cell student in JSS1 so they took special care of me and guess what, I did not like it!

While my mates worked in the dormitory for instance, I worked in the convent, I didn't eat together with my mates, I ate on a special table with the dinning hall prefect. I watched my mates play with each other  but my own playmates were senior prefects! Perhaps some will enjoy it and consider it a privilege, not me mehn not me!

Thankfully, I wrote to my dad and told him I didn't like the school and my school was changed to a better one, with no segregation, less pity and since i was not labelled from the onset, true friendships evolved. Shout out to my Feggo*Friends!

Post Feggo, I had this boyfriend that stuck with me for about 8 years...he was really caring and we went  through many crisis periods together. If he were to be  judged by the love, care and attention displayed @ my crisis points, he would be rated highly. Yet, at the point I thought I could spend the rest of my life with him, He said and I quote,  "I cannot marry Wunmi  now, She's a Sickler, I'm just....."

Dear Warrior, don't get it twisted, Love tranceeds pity. Someone who hates your guts can rightfully and genuiely pity you. 

For the unmarried warrior, I'm sure that many of your relationships will begin with pity; but don't be content with that, be sure that genuine love subsists beyond your period of pain.

On the converse, for the relationships that do not begin with pity, be sure that sufficient compassion exists to withstand your period of pain.

Some, though medically compatible, will chicken out the moment they realize you are a warrior.  Please don't force it, Let them go! The one who is the one will have the right dose of compassion and love  needed for YOU!

• Gratefully, accept sympathy, pity, empathy Compassion, acts of kindness from all and Sundry  and move on, i repeat move on and dont enjoy it too much to dwell therein. 

Please do not be fooled by the paparazzi at any pity party especially in chossing your friends. Most often, TIME will reveal who your friends really are. So, happily live each day one day at a time, attempt everything  u want to do, know when to stop and when to continue and never stay disconnected from your source-God-From Him we came and to Him we shall return...

As I type, the bones in my fore-arms ache and I know its time to stop but hey! Pity me not! Not because its a bad thing to Pity but because I don't pity myself and  I'll rather you love up on me for who I am!

Cheers to Love , Life and other Mysteries!

*¹ Like Surprise Parties, a Surprise Pity Party is not set up by the celebrant but by others.

*² Feggo- Federal Government Girls College Oyo Nigeria.

* As I typed, I recalled an encounter with a warrior who didn't have friends or even enemies to show care or pity at all and I felt like deleting all I had typed.......I hope this piece does not discourage YOU from being Kind to Warriors.........May the flame of kindness and compassion be rekindled afresh. Amen!

.