Victim of 'Niceness'.

A friend of mine usually says:  ‘Wunmi, you’re not nice’ and my usual response is like ‘Duh! I don’t wanna be nice! Niceness is not a fruit of the spirit’! LOL!

But really! I think I’m a nice girl! Lol! A very nice one! LOL! Not like I like being nice oh! I guess I’m just nice by default! Now, more seriously! I hate the word nice and I hate it when people say Wunmi is a nice girl! I’ll rather be qualified with better words! I just can’t explain why I detest the word…

People call me nice for different reasons, but I’ll rather describe myself as tough yet compassionate, prudent yet a giver, incorrigible yet teachable. He!he!he! Am I blowing my trumpet? LOL! But seriously that’s the way I see myself! And one more attribute! I love and bruise easily…

Now to the Topic!  The phrase came to my head as I thought of this dude I just met!  Between us I feel the fire! So much so that I seemed to go all out for him… And alas! It struck me! Don’t do it again girl! Not again! Don’t be a victim of your niceness again! *smile*

I’ve always been a ‘fix’ it girl... I mean, I think I’m attracted to broken people. People who need mending somehow, whether spiritually, financially or emotionally! For whatever reason, I naturally gravitate towards such people.  Now God help me when it’s a man I ‘like’! That’s where I fall victim...

The usual thing (in retrospect) is that the guy capitalizes on it and then disappears after he is fixed or he disappears when he realizes that ‘it’s not just fair to keep doing this to this nice girl’, whichever comes sooner; OR on the other hand, while I go about my niceness purely and innocently, the guy starts to think things and everything gets ruined… The good thing is that I never regret any good deed…

Many say to me: Never do this or that for a guy bla bla bla; and it’s like I’m not taking learnings! But honestly, it seems I can’t help it. It has become a very overwhelming issue in my life and I’ve tried different ways to save myself. In fact, what I try do now is to be friends with people from a distance! When I get a glimpse of issues in a person’s life, I act uninterested until I can do something about it…. At best I keep praying to God about it…until I can fix it…

Once, I concluded that a girl has no business being nice to a guy especially those of us that are nice by default. After all, ere ki l’ere ti omo aja’n ba omo ekun se?*¹ But today, right now, this moment, I’m confused… I can’t even articulate my thoughts on this issue, I don’t know what I’ll teach my girls on this issue…maybe I should ask for tougher girls and more compassionate boys… I seriously don’t know. Maybe I should ask God for a big time Olorunsogo*² and let the surulere*³men get behind me…So there’s no need for ‘fixing’ at all…. He! He! He!  That sounds good oh!

Whichever way Lord, to you I look for direction and wisdom to apply myself. My prayer is best said in Yoruba: Oluwa mi oh! ma je’n sise! Ma je’n sina kin to mona mo!*⁴ Amin!

*¹Why should a puppy and a cub be play mates?

*^{2, 3} Please get someone to interpret.

*⁴My God, do not let me act amiss! Do not let me miss my way before I find it again! Amen!

Forget not the Prisoners!

It was during my Court attachment as a Law School student, a lady was brought into the Court premises in a van with a plethora of prison wardens. Except for the dull disposition, she would pass for a beautiful woman any day. About 5 feet 8 inches tall, light skinned with bright eyes, a flat tummy and a toned body she was certainly the cynosure of all eyes in the Court premises that day. What could this beauty be guilty of?

As people starred and debated, I moved closer to have a better view and instantly I realized I knew her. I couldn’t remember her name. I walked straight up to her anyway and amidst the tight security I reintroduced myself: “Hello ma, Omowunmi Aderoba, Prison unit, The Fountain of Life Church”. Instantly, an amazing glow came upon her and she hugged me tightly, laughing excitedly and saying repeatedly, I’m so happy to see you’. And though I wasn’t half as excited as she was, I joined in the hearty laughter and reciprocated the hug equally as tight as though we were long lost friends.

My colleagues stood afar off, watching us talk and laugh excitedly and itching to know how on earth I knew the accused… I met her just once the year before on a visit to the Kirikiri female prison with members of the Fountain of Life Church. She was one of the leaders of the Christian Fellowship in the Prison. I guess she was just happy to have someone identify with her outside the prison walls. She talked of her unwavering faith in God to vindicate her and make the Court proceedings go well.

And indeed, the case would have gone well but for the shoddy lawyer... The judge was magnanimous enough to accommodate his shoddiness in other to do justice to the matter. The case was adjourned without much done and after that day I forgot about the lady and her case! (I informed the prison unit of my Church about the Court’s proceedings though).

I no longer attend the Fountain of Life Church regularly because I moved out of jurisdiction and in my new church there’s no Prison unit. Prison unit or not, I seem to have forgotten that my desire to study law was birth out of a desire to advocate for the masses, to be a voice for the voiceless and to defend the undefended.  Since my call to Bar, I’ve done nothing about this sect of people rather I now advocate and solicit for companies and the elites…

Today, I remind myself not to forget the prisoners. It’s not just about legal aid now but also about showing them love. Prisoners are like you and me. Indeed, we might say some of them deserve imprisonment but a plethora of them are like you and I. Many of us have committed similar or even greater offences and yet by a stroke of faith, we walk freely. The pathetic irony is that in our society today, a man steals a tuber of yam and is jailed yet another steals billions of Naira in government and is a freeman…

It appears as though we easily remember the physically challenged, the motherless and the widows and aged but we somehow forget those whose Spirit, Soul and body have been imprisoned… The Bible is clear on this issue. Remember those in prison as if you were their fellow prisoners (Hebrews 13:3. See also Matthew 25:36)

I write this to remind myself never to forget them, never to forget the reason I studied law and perhaps, to also nudge YOU and hope that you would remember to visit the prison in your next outreach.*smile*.

Long live the virtues of Charles Colson (Founder, Prison Ministry)!

Long Live the Prison Unit of The Fountain of Life Church!

And three happy cheers to all whom after reading this, would do something!

Cheers!

 

 

 

 

 

Aluu 4: Thinking for the Defence…

I wouldn’t dare take the brief of the Aluu community but then if I was State Counsel or Counsel to the Slain four, I’ll still have to preempt the defence to build a better case for the prosecution. And so, I’ve been thinking? On what grounds should the Aluu community be found guilty? Please don’t crucify me! I certainly do not support jungle justice. I verily believe that Justice must be done according to the Law thus any form of justice not in accordance with the provisions of the law is for all intent and purposes unlawful.

But then I ask myself, why should we cast stones upon the Aluu Community? First, if we go by the principle Jesus applied in the case of the Samaritan woman when he stated “Let Him who is without sin be the first to cast the stone” in John 8:7, then, there’s no doubt that nearly every Nigerian would step aside. Is this the first time we would hear of a mob action by aggrieved members of a community in Nigeria? Or is it only in Lagos that mob justice is prevalent?

The last time I heard people in my neighborhood beating up an alleged thief, I didn’t join them but I was very glad that he was being beaten just like I danced with my class mates in Secondary School at the news of General Sani Abacha’s death. Does that make me mean? Whether or not, my point is that, most of us rejoice when a notorious thief or corrupt personality is caught. We not only rejoice we condemn and sentence them even before they are tried when we can’t lay hands on them. Or don’t we? Why then do we hypocritically condemn members of the Aluu community?

The people had been tormented by robbers and rapist in the days preceding the killing of the Aluu 4 and suddenly there’s news that a group of boys believed to be robbers had been caught! What is the expected Nigerian reaction? In a village for that matter!  Oh Please! Let’s stop acting like we are in the UK or US or some developed State!

Just a month before the Aluu Killing, about 40 students were massacred at Mubi in Adamawa state and we seem to have just glossed over it. Many thanks to Social media for making Aluu4 headlines…My heart still bleeds at the lackadaisical attitude of the government on Mubi Killings….but I’ll just focus on the Aluu killings for now…

Perhaps, the measures taken by the members of the Aluu community were extreme. Perhaps only very heartless people would use such heavy planks to hit unarmed young men. But then, it is obvious that the members of the community were extremely indignant. I do not say that extreme indignation is a defence in law. Neither do I say that it is moral justification. I’m just trying to put myself in the shoes of the Aluu community. I’m just trying to think for the defence… *smile*

 But seriously! What would I have done if I was a member of the Aluu community? I may not have joined in the beating and again I just might! Especially if my sister had been raped at home or my uncle’s house had been robbed or my aunt had been kidnapped by notorious armed robbers’ weeks before the boys were caught. And even if I will not pick a plank to beat them, I’ll be extremely happy that others were beating them. I certainly would not address the crowd on the presumption of innocence at that time! I most definately won’t remember at that time that such a phrase existed!

What would you have done? *pause* Let him who is without sin be the first to cast the stone! And also for those who would have done the ‘right thing’ in the circumstance, let’s all cast the stones in the right direction…

There’s no gainsaying that jungle-justice prevails in a society where the rule of law is abhorred by the makers and enforcers of the Law. A society where justice is constantly delayed a society where security of lives and property does not seem to be a germaine issue for the government… and the populace have ‘no choice’ but to take the laws into their hands.

Pitiably, Nigeria is such a state, a failed state, a retrogressive a state, one in which the citizens have become local governments for and of themselves. We dig our own boreholes, we supply our own power with generators and inverters, we give our children basic education, and yet you say we should not make and enforce our own laws! Every day, we see Hardened criminals escape justice, crimes being poorly investigated, Security issues being treated with kid gloves and yet, you say we shouldn’t take laws in our hands…oh please!

I pity the people of Aluu that have been labelled witches and wizards and all sorts...the latest taboo in Nigeria today is marrying from the Aluu community…I most especially pity someone who is in jail right now for allegedly participating in the killing because she indignantly  threw  a small plank at the boys. (Assuming those that threw heavy bricks and planks are guilty for so doing). They are all victims of bad governance and nothing more!

I’m thankful for Social Media. The publicity of the killings has been overwhelming. Yet, I ask myself, of what good is the video of how a son was killed to the mother? It only makes the death more painful… I sorrow and grieve with the family and friends of the four young men who met their end for being in the ‘right’ place at the wrong time. (Assuming the story that they only went to recover a debt is true). I grieve that such bright destinies perished simply because the people lack faith in the criminal justice system!!!

I do not advocate for mob- justice, it is to all intent and purposes legally, morally and spiritually wrong. What I advocate for is change in governance. Let’s not pretend like Aluu4 killings is one of a kind! It happens every day, all over Nigeria! And it will happen again tomorrow if there’s no change! I advocate that we cast our stones not on the people of Aluu but on our government!  Let’s stone them until change comes…

Meanwhile, as we channel the wind of change, I pray the souls of the departed rest in peace. Amen.