But really! I think I’m
a nice girl! Lol! A very nice one! LOL! Not like I like being nice oh! I guess I’m
just nice by default! Now, more seriously! I hate the word nice and I hate it
when people say Wunmi is a nice girl! I’ll rather be qualified with better
words! I just can’t explain why I detest the word…
People call me nice
for different reasons, but I’ll rather describe myself as tough yet
compassionate, prudent yet a giver, incorrigible yet teachable. He!he!he! Am I blowing
my trumpet? LOL! But seriously that’s the way I see myself! And one more
attribute! I love and bruise easily…
Now to the Topic! The phrase came to my head as I thought of
this dude I just met! Between us I feel
the fire! So much so that I seemed to go all out for him… And alas! It struck
me! Don’t do it again girl! Not again! Don’t be a victim of your niceness again!
*smile*
I’ve always been a ‘fix’
it girl... I mean, I think I’m attracted to broken people. People who need
mending somehow, whether spiritually, financially or emotionally! For whatever
reason, I naturally gravitate towards such people. Now God help me when it’s a man I ‘like’! That’s
where I fall victim...
The usual thing (in
retrospect) is that the guy capitalizes on it and then disappears after he is
fixed or he disappears when he realizes that ‘it’s not just fair to keep doing
this to this nice girl’, whichever comes sooner; OR on the other hand, while I go
about my niceness purely and innocently, the guy starts to think things and
everything gets ruined… The good thing is that I never regret any good deed…
Many say to me: Never
do this or that for a guy bla bla bla; and it’s like I’m not taking learnings! But
honestly, it seems I can’t help it. It has become a very overwhelming issue in
my life and I’ve tried different ways to save myself. In fact, what I try do
now is to be friends with people from a distance! When I get a glimpse of
issues in a person’s life, I act uninterested until I can do something about it….
At best I keep praying to God about it…until I can fix it…
Once, I concluded that
a girl has no business being nice to a guy especially those of us that are nice
by default. After all, ere ki l’ere ti omo aja’n ba omo ekun se?*1
But today, right now, this moment, I’m confused… I can’t even articulate my
thoughts on this issue, I don’t know what I’ll teach my girls on this issue…maybe
I should ask for tougher girls and more compassionate boys… I seriously don’t
know. Maybe I should ask God for a big time Olorunsogo*2 and let the
surulere*3men get behind me…So there’s no need for ‘fixing’ at all….
He! He! He! That sounds good oh!
Whichever way Lord, to
you I look for direction and wisdom to apply myself. My prayer is best said in Yoruba:
Oluwa mi oh! ma je’n sise! Ma je’n sina kin to mona mo!*4 Amin!
*1Why
should a puppy and a cub be play mates?
*2,
3 Please get someone to interpret.
*4My
God, do not let me act amiss! Do not let me miss my way before I find it again!
Amen!
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