So, I took this job a year ago. I had been a Stay at Home Mom for almost 4years before then and thus considered it OK to "start small" .
In the Spirit of starting small, I took the job and renumeration of a complete newbie and deliberately swept under the carpet the fact that I was technically 8 years Post Call and 37years of age. Thank God for a youthful look, I'ld pass for an under-27(Tongue in cheek) so I purposed in my heart to act the part I was designated for with utmost humility and subservience and to learn all I could as a Solicitor in the Coperate Circles since my prior Post- Call experience was solely in Litigation . So how was my one year experience?
Hmm...Within the first Six weeks, I cried quite a lot. First because leaving my three Tees especially my 18 month-old who had to start school was really heart-rendering. Both mother and son cried each morning as I left for work...
Secondly, my mode of daily commuting to work was like a whole new ball game..honestly can't explain this part...I just be like JJC all of a sudden. One day conductor ran off with my 200 naira change, another day my hair hung to the roof of danfo and countless other things that made me cry.
Thirdly, my boss was a choleric ,like me,and she made me cry a few times too. I really do salute myself for the self control and subservience I displayed all through. You see, My boss is 33 and we are literaly "peers" at the bar so u can imagine the will power it took to remain subservient... I however gave my self a deadline as I knew the subservience would not last too long...
Off the job, my boss and I became like sisters, she does have a heart of gold and I do not blame her for my feelings or sentiments, afterall, oun ko lo koba mi, yeah, its not her fault that I am a late bloomer na. Abi. My daily prayer became:omo mi kan kan o ni seru egbe lagbara Edumare...(elmm,that's yoruba and I don't know the best interpretation.lol.).
Aside the factors that occasionally made me cry, I had a beautiful time at work. I deliberately and painstakingly became friends with many and in retrospect, I must say the relationships that evolved is a major achievement for me.
It's impossible for me to recount my last one year work experience without talking about my Health. In the words of my hematologist, "Madam, you have started developing Sickle Cell Complications and you have to be more deliberate about your health..."
Yeah that's the summary of it all, indications of these complications started with my eyes and then my hips and Lungs all within this one year, it became apparent that something had changed in one year, and all fingers pointed to the job, something about it was wearing me out and though I kind of think that it was all a coincidence and the complications could have arisen if I was at home,the major issue for me was that my three Tees plus X* who are at the receiving end of these maladiies were really freaking out...
And so,I thought to myself : "assuming i'm gonna die of these complications soon, why don't I give this time to these three Tees of mine...and even if i'm not gonna die soon, is it a bad idea to give them more of me now than later....isnt this the best time to be with my kids and create memories?
Is the Salary I was being paid worthy of the belittlement at work, or worth more than my health or time with my family? Or is the facade of being a working woman more important than my divine role of mothering my children. Is it a better decision to please my parents who want me to be independent or my outstanding husband who doesn't mind the dependency? Will my family get by without my income?
The answers to these and many more questions made me take a decision and of course today I feel at peace knowing that if all I do on planet earth is to raise my children the best way I can and be the best wife I can be to my husband and in doing so, generally influence my world even without affluence, I would have by my own standard, done well ..
And yes, I said even without affluence but e no mean say I no like money oh. This money I go make am somehow....
So while we think of how to make this money, let me say this:the Employee-Labour Market is full of Sh*t especially for late bloomers, so if you are one, be ready to humbly eat plenty of it while you catch up...
I have always loved the structure and stability that comes with being in paid employment and I still might consider it again subject to more informed and insightful terms which I have now gained, albeit, l now understand why many tow the entrepreneurial line and honestly my phobia for the entrepreneurial fad has disappeared.
The past one year has given me the needed push to look inwards and honestly I am still looking and don't know how and when I will complete this inward looking process. I obviously can't articulate exactly what i'm gonna do, how I'm gonna do it or when I'm gonna do it but I do know that crossing my Tees is a safe place to start.
Being a home maker comes most natural to me and yeah though,according to my daughter, I can shout on top of my voice for the slightest of childs play at home, there's no place I'll rather be..at least for now!
Shout out to all the Stay at Home Moms out there. I joyfully welcome myself back to the fold. Cheers!
*The X refers to each person that constitute the formidable support system I am privileged to have. Words can't express my gratitude to each and every one of them....
I give all the glory to my creator, who I have tasted and known as Agbanilagbatan,the great deliverer, Baba to ju Baba lo, the greatest of Fathers and the lover of my soul,Ololufe Okan mi...Ka bi esi ohhhhhhh!!!!.
