Sickle Cell Retinopathy: #Memoirs of a Warrior#

My ordeal with Sickle Cell Retinopathy was a frightening one. I had gotten used to the occasional bouts of pain in my joints. And  Whether it was mild or severe,my mantra for each crisis was and remains : "This too shall soon pass".

Many doctors considered me an interesting patient because I'm often vivacious,  loquacious and full of an infectious positive vibe that the pain would go away sooner than later . But this time it was different...

It started one Friday in the office when I felt like something got into my eyes. I went to the bathroom to wash the affected eye in a bid to get out the dirt but without any luck. I sought the help of a colleague  to look into my eye and she affirmed that there was nothing in it. 

An hour later, I discovered that I could barely see with the affected eye and I started to panic...By the next morning, the eye was inflamed and I looked like a battered woman. 

I ran off to the closest eye hospital where I was diagnosed with uvieties but the young doctor who appeared a tad confused, together with some medication gave me an appointment to see his boss, the Consultant opthatmologist, on the Tuesday that followed.

By the appointed Tuesday, the vision in both eyes had worsened and I started to really feel sick in my entire body... I was admmitted in the hospital for a Visoclusive Crisis but this time it didn't feel like it will pass soon, it felt like paralysis; the fear of completely losing my sight paralysed my mind. 

Meanwhile, We (My dad and husband) visited the consultant as required and a proper diagnosis was given...

After a couple of tests, an urgent vitrectomy in d left eye and a laser in the right was necessary. I was referred to the best eye clinic were the procedures could be done(Eye Foundation Ikeja) yet the doctors would not guarantee that my vision will be restored. I was  scared to death...

The multitude of factors responsible for the fear cannot be put in words but in the midst of the storm, I did not loose my faith. 

I'm thankful for a faithfilled marriage to the most outstanding husband in the world, I'm thankful for amazing siblings, parents, friends, family and a good Church too..

The much needed support received from the aforelisted strengthened my faith and I began to feel better in my body.

My mantra,  This too shall soon pass came back to life as the vivacious Wunmi returned. I talked and laughed more and I looked even more closely at everyone, especially my children, just in case I was visually not going to  see them again, and in my closet I cried more.... It was a really scary time....very scary.

One month after a succesful sugery in the left eye. The same symptoms started in the right.  The Right eye had been Lasered, yet the  vision became really blurry. 

My first reaction was  "Oh  no, not again!" but I was not half as frightened as I was the first time, for, this time, I knew exactly what was going on and I knew what to do.

In the words of my doctor, Conservative Management of the eye started and is  still on going...

I have deliberately left out the medical  explanations but it is hoped that  every warrior reading this would get curious enough to read up on Sickle cell Retinopathy. Indeed, Knowledge is  Power.  

Most Importantly, ensure you have an eye examination as often as practicable and of course, Hydrate! Hydrate! Hydrate! The more water you drink the better for YOU.

Cheers!

Pity me Not.#Memoirs of a Warrior#

This piece is an outflow of an unending  discussion, one in which I may have been perceived as proud or ungrateful. But I am thankful for a diary wherein I can express myself without the fear of being judged. I'll try to make it short though, for YOUR sake. Yes, YOU.* smiles*

I have had a fair share of what I call surprise pity parties*¹ and truth be told, its exhausting!  I think occasional  pity parties can be lovely in a way. The attention, the show of love from friends and enemies alike could be really encouraging but as the frequency increases, the more u see, the more u hear, the more you feel the pity! 

There's a rush of emotions as I type and I don't know where to start from to make you understand my perspective...

Once, a colleague said to me: "you should consider yourself lucky that the owner of this company has a child with your condition such that the management of this  company can understand your pain..."

My response: "it's the more reason I want to leave..." I had just returned from a sick leave and I was giving  her reasons to resign and then she made that statement.

In my mind, I'm like really!! Like I'm  supposed to be happy and make it an excuse to lazy about or what? Though unintended, Her words hit me in the wrong place and I was all the more determined to leave.

The company had magnanimously granted me a second one-month sick leave in less than 10 Months and I was already getting pitiably popular for being off -work on grounds of ill-health which I didn't like.

The first surprise pity party in the company was lovely;  when I returned to work, I met a beautiful card signed by my colleagues on my table. The welcome-back made me feel like a celebrity and I enjoyed the accolades. 

The second was also acceptable but I wasn't gonna wait for a third one.  I was not willing to give people a chance to pity me perpetually. 

I have learnt to read between the lines of Love and Pity but the frequency of crisis especially in a  new environment makes the line so faint. Yet, I could see and in retrospect  see even more clearly  that there was more pity than love...

  

I'ld rather be loved and accepted because of my character and the quality of my work than be made pitiably popular by reason of a health condition. Alas, the later is usually the case.

Same was the case many years ago in my first secondary school. It was a small boarding house and I was the only sickle cell student in JSS1 so they took special care of me and guess what, I did not like it!

While my mates worked in the dormitory for instance, I worked in the convent, I didn't eat together with my mates, I ate on a special table with the dinning hall prefect. I watched my mates play with each other  but my own playmates were senior prefects! Perhaps some will enjoy it and consider it a privilege, not me mehn not me!

Thankfully, I wrote to my dad and told him I didn't like the school and my school was changed to a better one, with no segregation, less pity and since i was not labelled from the onset, true friendships evolved. Shout out to my Feggo*Friends!

Post Feggo, I had this boyfriend that stuck with me for about 8 years...he was really caring and we went  through many crisis periods together. If he were to be  judged by the love, care and attention displayed @ my crisis points, he would be rated highly. Yet, at the point I thought I could spend the rest of my life with him, He said and I quote,  "I cannot marry Wunmi  now, She's a Sickler, I'm just....."

Dear Warrior, don't get it twisted, Love tranceeds pity. Someone who hates your guts can rightfully and genuiely pity you. 

For the unmarried warrior, I'm sure that many of your relationships will begin with pity; but don't be content with that, be sure that genuine love subsists beyond your period of pain.

On the converse, for the relationships that do not begin with pity, be sure that sufficient compassion exists to withstand your period of pain.

Some, though medically compatible, will chicken out the moment they realize you are a warrior.  Please don't force it, Let them go! The one who is the one will have the right dose of compassion and love  needed for YOU!

• Gratefully, accept sympathy, pity, empathy Compassion, acts of kindness from all and Sundry  and move on, i repeat move on and dont enjoy it too much to dwell therein. 

Please do not be fooled by the paparazzi at any pity party especially in chossing your friends. Most often, TIME will reveal who your friends really are. So, happily live each day one day at a time, attempt everything  u want to do, know when to stop and when to continue and never stay disconnected from your source-God-From Him we came and to Him we shall return...

As I type, the bones in my fore-arms ache and I know its time to stop but hey! Pity me not! Not because its a bad thing to Pity but because I don't pity myself and  I'll rather you love up on me for who I am!

Cheers to Love , Life and other Mysteries!

*¹ Like Surprise Parties, a Surprise Pity Party is not set up by the celebrant but by others.

*² Feggo- Federal Government Girls College Oyo Nigeria.

* As I typed, I recalled an encounter with a warrior who didn't have friends or even enemies to show care or pity at all and I felt like deleting all I had typed.......I hope this piece does not discourage YOU from being Kind to Warriors.........May the flame of kindness and compassion be rekindled afresh. Amen!

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