Five Thousand Naira Note, Naija Boys and Cashless Policy!

He! He! He! I laugh in Spanish oh! There’s indeed a good side to everything….

The introduction of the Cashless (Cashlite) Policy in Nigeria met the anger of the Nigerian People. As usual, the Nigerian populace vituperated and insulted policy makers. “How can they charge me for withdrawals in my bank?”  “Is it not my money? My hard earned money!”, “We do not yet have sufficient ATM machines or POS terminals and they are preaching cashless!” “The Internet systems are pathetic and they are preaching cashless!” Why should I be penalized for making withdrawals? These and many more were the angry comments from Nigerians.

At first, the penalty was 100 naira for every 1000 naira above 150,000naira withdrawn or lodged by individual customers and 200 naira for every 1000 naira above 1,000,000naira withdrawn or lodged by corporate customers. Indeed, the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) was determined to enforce the policy and supposedly to encourage the utilization of electronic payment system. The cry of the people however made CBN push up the limit to 500,000 naira for individuals and 3,000,000 naira for corporate bodies with three and five percent handling charge for individuals and corporate bodies respectively and gradually it began to sink in… the cashless policy had come to stay...

Now, to why I was laughing in Spanish (LOL), my ever sure ‘naija’ boys all of a sudden embraced the phrase and not the policy. The other day I heard one young broke dude saying ‘sorry, I’m cashless’ in response to a girl asking him for five hundred naira! And seriously, my colleague at work said same the other day! My point, Boys no longer give money on impulse because they don’t carry cash!

But alas, while I was still rejoicing with boys at a perfect excuse, the CBN announced the introduction of the 5000 naira note! And guess what? the government says no going back! Yaay! Go girls! Now! I’m rejoicing with girls! At least every correct guy should have a few five thousand naira notes in his wallet and not give the lame excuse of having only cards or rather being cashless! Ha ha ha ha! Now I’m laughing in Japaneese!

But Seriously! As in very seriously! What are the Policy makers thinking? This is apparently most contradictory! But then, the CBN governor, Lamido Sanusi, says the introduction of the 5,000 naira note would complement the cashless policy. Maybe I lack understanding of simple economics, because I certainly do not understand how! And to make matters worse they plan to convert N5, N10 and N20 naira notes to coins! We certainly are going to have to deal with inflation because Nigerians are averse to coins! But again, they say No! They maintain it won’t cause inflation and contend that there’s no link between the conversion/introduction of new notes and inflation! Whew! Let me just rest my case because I’m a lawyer and not an economist…But I respectfully submit that whilst the CBN carries out its  legitimate functions, let them remember the preamble of the preamble of the Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria… Let them remember ‘we the people oh’!

Meanwhile, ladies! Don’t let naija boys use your head oh! Withdrawing cash isn’t criminal, there’s just a 3% handling charge for withdrawals that exceed five hundred thousand naira. And for rich girls like me*wink*, Cashless or Cashlite, 5000 naira note or coin, we’ll spend the money anyhow! (Ema dami duro….*laughing heartily and singing Davido’s Song*).

Omoaderoba^cn

 

Spiritual Deposit: Insurance for a Pained Soul.

Desperately in need of cash, I drove hurriedly to the nearest ATM machine and I hit the keypads with desperation as if to make the machine work faster. The exact sum I needed was the exact sum left in the account. So I clicked on it anyway. And alas! A message popped up on the screen…It appeared like a mixture of Greek and Spanish. The New bank Policy required a minimum account balance of 2000 naira so whatever sum I wanted to withdraw had to be short of 2000…. I wished I could communicate with the machine and tell it that I wanted all my money and I didn’t mind closing my account! After all, it was my money! My hard earned money!  How can this people just initiate Policies just like that! For goodness sake, the last time I checked, one could have a zero naira minimum balance! Unfortunately, it was a weekend and there was no bank official to yell at so I left… angry and bitter …. It was much later I understood the essence of the minimum balance: it was necessary to keep an account alive even when dormant…

Have you ever lost a loved one? Have you been through a nasty break up? Have you experienced the pain of loss in any form? Have you been hurt? Have you been in pain? How did you survive it? My answer? My minimum balance! My Deposit! My deposit kept me alive when I was dormant…

I have indeed been through pain not once not twice and sometimes when I’m in d deep of pain, rejection or loss, I listen to all sorts of lines and phrases but I cannot hear, I feel the warmth of a hug or a warm handshake but then the touch disappears like evaporating water, I see pity on the faces of others, but I cannot see beyond their faces so I do not care…Either nothing or everything makes sense, it’s either I’m making excuses for the one who caused the pain and blaming myself or I’m swearing and cursing or simply just hoping to die. Yet still, someone says to me: You are a strong woman…one of the strongest I know….My secret? In retrospect, I’ll say again, My Deposit!

Sometimes, we read the Bible and pray and go to Church and we feel like it’s just a routine, or just another habit. If only we understand we are building up a deposit. All Christians need a deposit of God’s word, of good words, of good/upright times so that when bad thoughts and bad times and bad words take the center stage and we can’t get on our knees to pray or open our Bibles to read, what we had on the inside of us, before the pain, can spring forth and sooth us. That’s how I have survived…That’s how I have pulled through, that’s how I overcome. I don’t know how it happens but I know it happens…I hear a Rhema from my Spirit or a song jumps into my mind and I begin to sing in my heart and then I see in my mind’s eye, the smile and the cheer of a loved one and then my lips begin to move, I’m smiling…I’m singing …I’m strengthened… and then they say I’m strong…hmm….Lord, I’m thankful for the grace.

And so, to you I’ll say: Make hay while the sun shines, seek the Lord while He is near, subscribe to a viable insurance policy, not just for your car or for your house but for your soul…Fortify your walk with God, that’s the best deposit, it won’t guarantee you a pain free life, but it sure would see you through the pain, it would keep your account running even when you become dormant. You need a deposit, a minimum balance that would keep you running when you can’t run. Invest in your Spirit-man today!

Shalom!