Is God Just?

I remember telling some Christian folks that I didn’t think God was Just. And of course, the reaction was in the negative…like common, ‘How can you say that’! ‘God is not a man that you should talk about like that’! ‘Stop analyzing God like a legal problem’! bla! bla! Was all the response I got. And of course, I became more convinced that God wasn’t fair…

Every day and Everywhere, I see injustice… I see the diligent toiling and the lazy merrrying, I see good people die and bad people live. I see innocent folks go to jail and the not so innocent roam the streets freely…  I see unassuming children suffer for what they know nothing about…birth defects, diseases, accident and death is the lot of many lovers of God. And I wonder where God is!

Even in the Bible, I see stories of injustice! What on earth did Job do to warrant  the insurmountable loss that befell him or why on earth should the laboures that came at the ninety-ninth point ninth minute earn the same wages as those that had toiled all day in Matthew 20?

And yet, the same God says: “He’ll have mercy on whom He’ll have mercy on(Exodus 33:19) meaning… “It’s up to me who I choose to be fair/merciful to” init? Oh Please! Don’t crucify me…I’m just thinking out loud. And lucky you if you’ve never had cause to think of God as not soo nice…Well, I’ve been so mad at God before…to an extent that I said to myself or rather to God, that I was just going to live my life as I would without a care about His feelings…..(Now, i know better...)

As I pondered and wondered about the justness of God, I found answers in no one….some were too ‘petrified’ of God to consider the topic talk less of analyzing it and perhaps, some felt I might first need to be delivered from demonic thoughts and then go through counseling before they would open the scriptures to me…

Unlike legal issues, which become clearer the more you research, theological issues just make me ask more questions. I had read scriptures like Hebrews 6: 10 in the New International Version of the Bible which is very explicit, yet I wasn’t satisfied.  Of Course, I also read Romans 9 and still, I wanted more… Since I was not getting answers from anyone or even the internet, I asked the Lord to give me answers himself. And yeah! I prayed. Indeed, I prayed.

Then one day, one ordinary day, a scripture came to my mind, a scripture I had read and prayed with many times over…..I felt like God brought his mouth close to my ear and said to me: My Mercy prevails over justice….Chai! I heard it so clearly…I knew I had even read that scripture recently and so I picked my bible and turned to James! Yes! James Chapter Two and Verse 13. The latter part read: Mercy prevails over judgment. And just as I tried to juxtapose what I heard with what I read, I became all the more convinced that there was no need to probe further…

Now, I know that it’s better that God deals with us Mercifully than Justly. It is indeed better for His Mercy to prevail over judgment. If not for his mercy, where would I be, where would you be? If God where to give us Justice according to the Law or like the Law, all the time, then we would all be damned!

Oh Lord, please forgive my Legal mind and be merciful to me! Please be merciful to the reader of this piece too! Amen.

Omoaderoba

How to Get Out Of a Wrong Relationship

In the light of the Ese Walter .v. COZA brouhaha, I have convinced myself that it is absolutely in place for me, yes me, an unrepentant Christian female, to put my thoughts down. Perhaps, this piece would help someone someday… I say this for two reasons: First because I have since the Ese Saga, adopted the ‘No comment’ approach of Cozaites, and second, because no one seems to address the major issue.

For some, the issue in the Ese .v. Coza matter is the title called PASTOR! For others it is ABUSE (Whether sexual or psychological), for some the issue is the CHURCH! And for some it’s just GIST. I’ll leave the issue of ‘Pastor’ to the Pastors, The question of ‘Abuse’ to psychologists, The ‘Church’ to God Almighty and the ‘Gist’ to bloggers and I’ll go on to the crux of the matter which Ese ought to have discussed via social media in a bid to help others. And yea though I have my reservations on Ese’s matter, I salute her courage... In this piece, I’ll try to do the one thing she failed to use social media for…help others.

I won’t try to define what a wrong relationship is because I believe its tad subjective. While some strongly believe its okay to date a much older man, some think it’s totally wrong to date a man old enough to be called ‘daddy’, for some, it’s okay to date a man separated from his wife, and for others it’s a taboo. Whether its age, marital status, character, religion, consanguinity or affinity, we all know when we are in a wrong relationship…we just know in our inner minds and we know we need to get out….. 

The lodestar to getting out is boldness. And again I say boldness! I mean, you need guts; you sure need some strong nerves to say it’s over and mean its over! You need loads of willpower to move forward without looking back. You need boldness to care less whose ox is gored and of course you need the boldness to ask God for his help. After all, scriptures say we should come boldly to the throne of grace to get help in our time of need¹. 

One of the questions a person who wants out constantly asks is “How did I get myself into this?”Many times, its starts with something seemingly little; a thought, a word, an innocent visit, a little kiss or a random act of kindness and boom! You land yourself in a quagmire! Scriptures tell us to Guard our hearts with all diligence²… and also warns us to flee from every appearance of evil³…If only we would obey scriptures…

I’m constantly awed at the progression of sin. First it’s a thought or let’s say an innocent visit, then a thought, then some more thoughts, then a timely word, then some more words, a kind deed, more thoughts and then the sheets….Hmm, scriptures say; Let he who thinks he stands, take heed lest he fall⁴…I wouldn’t want to dwell on the progression of sin here or tell you how you got yourself into it, I write to tell you how to get out…

First, you need to realize you want out! According to scriptures, what is stolen is sweet⁵. So the first thing that happens almost immediately or after a momentary sadness is that you begin to enjoy the relationship or at least something about the relationship, maybe the sex, the attention, or money. Next, you begin to justify the relationship. That naughty voice tells you that once you’ve had sex once, u can as well continue, you convince yourself that 'he' loves you, that he is god- sent, that you need him to go through school, to pay your bills etc. You must realize that there’s absolutely no justification for a wrong relationship. The only thing you need to justify is your way out!

Second, you must completely disregard the feelings or sentiments of the other person.  The usual thing for you is to start feeling like you don’t want to hurt him, you don’t want to ruin his career or soil his name. So you let him give you all the selfish reasons why you shouldn’t go or why you should be patient and let things flow naturally…^yimu.   I tell thee, the sooner you disconnect yourself from his sentiments, the closer you are to freedom.

Third, you must associate yourself with people that hate the relationship. Where the affair is a secret one, find someone or a group of persons good enough to pour your heart to; an NGO, a mentor, a parent, a pastor or mature friend that you know is averse to such relationship and make yourself accountable to such person(s). I must warn that it is in your interest to relate with only persons of the same sex in this regard…

Fourth, don’t just think about getting out of the relationship, get out! I mean take active steps. If you are living in his/her house, move out! If you’ve been doing anything for him or with him, stop it! 

Lastly, you must pray, bring yourself to your knees, God honors godly desires; He hears and would surely answer. You might feel like a wretch not worthy of His saving grace but trust me, God loves wretches like you. He’ll pick you up; he’ll wash you clean and give you profound peace. 

In all of these, I know it’s not easy to come out of a wrong relationship and I also know that you can if you want to. Whether the relationship has lasted one week, two months or three years, you need to get out and you sure can get out. Know that you’re not alone in your shoes and you won’t be the first to grow past those shoes…

Remember, the longer you stay in a wrong relationship, the longer it takes to get a right one.

Best Wishes!

Omoaderoba.

1-      Hebrews 4:16

2-     Proverbs 4:23

3-     I Thesselonians5:22

4-     I Corinthians 10:12

5-     Proverbs 9: 17

The Will of God

I find the banal way d phraseology “will of God” is used very exasperating!  I acknowledge that for a few, it is indeed a statement of faith, for some others, it might pass for a statement of fact and for a vast majority it is a cunningly slothful way of evading responsibilities!

Imagine a mom’s response to her child’s request for cookies being: No dear, it’s not the will of God for you! Or a teenage girl tells her dad she desires to be a fashion designer and all her dad can tell her is that it’s not the will of God for her! How can she understand that! And how on earth can I understand my boyfriend’s failure to take the requisite steps because he is not sure it is the will of God!

Oh! Dear boyfriend! What in God’s name is the will of God! You hover around me like bees on a honey comb; you query me for being on the phone with another for too long! You fraternize with my entire family like you knew them before me and yet you do not confess your intention ‘cos you need to confirm the will of God! How I’m I supposed to understand that. Shouldn't you rather give me a wide berth while u confirm God’s will?

I apologize for the deviation, let’s put my dear boyfriend aside and tackle this issue. What exactly is the Will of God? Isn't the phrase vague? How can we know God’s specific will for our individual lives?

Countless thoughts and literature abound on this subject which I wouldn’t want to analyse here. But if you are like me, the more you read on topics like this, the more mysterious it becomes. I’m no longer mystified about this concept because I am a friend of God! Lol! Yeah! So I enjoin you to become his friend so you might understand what I now understand. And yes! That’s the first step, to know the will of God, you must befriend God!

Many Christians are still babies and need help to understand God’s will and that’s why they run to pastors and prophets. In the days of old, When Jesus, the mediator was not available, it was the norm to consult the prophets but today, we have access to God himself yet most of us fail to use the access we have(See Hebrews 1:1-2). This is not to totally undermine the role of our Spiritual parents, pastors and prophets in providing spiritual guidance to knowing God’s will. It’s just a wake-up call to YOU to maximize the access God has given you to Him.

The importance of the Bible as a timeless and prolific compass to understanding God’s will cannot also be over emphasized. The Bible is replete with God’s will in different general areas. E.g. God wills that we all be chaste. (1 Thess 4:3) He wills for us to prosper and have good health (1 John 1:2) e.t.c. But of course, the bible doesn't name Omowunmi’s husband neither would the bible specifically ask me to choose GTBank over First Bank to work for or bank with. However, most of us want specifics that’s why we take pictures and names of suitors to prophets…Hmmmm… Since the Bible does not usually do specifics, how then can we know God’s exact will in specific individual situations?

I found a profound scripture that laid my mind to rest on this issue! Philippians 2: 13(NIV) which says:  for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purposes. What a Rhema! Do catch it if you can! As for me, I believe that God’s will is in my desires, God’s will is in my gifts and abilities, and God’s will is in me. And as long as I continually align myself with Him, I cannot miss His will…

After all said, written, typed, and done, thy will be done oh Lord!

Shalom!

The Unmarried Elder Sister

‘So’mo pe iwo ni iyayawo ni?* 'You have to tie gele'!* And so I did! I had the gele tied firmly to my head on the 18th of May 2013. It’s always been a peculiar date ‘cos it doubles as both Ope(My Baby Sis) and Tennessee’s (My mom’s 3yrold terrier) birthday. But this year, it also trippled as Yewande’s Inroduction! I’m sure everyone almost forgot birthdays and only looked forward to Yewande’s intro. Well, I did! I honestly forgot my birthday this year (May20) too! The month of May was all about Yewande’s intro!

“Introduction,” as we call it here, is the equivalent of the Western ‘Meet the Parents’ gathering. But you can be sure that as with other Yoruba gatherings, a simple introduction can be overtly hyped with so much pomp and pageantry. And of course, my sister’s into wasn’t short of expectation…

Like all other gatherings in my father’s house, I anticipated lots of things : to give up my bed, my room, clean up more, yell more( well, I no longer yell as much*smile*), kneel(to greet) more, serve more, and of course dance more!

And guess what? I also expected to feel marital pressure in a new dimension… why? Because people, especially two dear people to my heart had earlier warned me to do something about my unmarried status before May 18, 2013 which was the beginning of my younger sister’s marital journey. They had speculated that I would understand the consequence of my unmarried status the moment Yewande started her journey. And of course, I laughed about their fears and made jokes of their speculations!

Please don’t get me wrong! I sure want to get married. I’m most definitely mindful that my biological clock is ticking and for a plethora of other reasons, I certainly want to get this phase over and done with! The crux of this piece is simply that I’m all the more convinced that my sister’s wedding isn’t gonna add any more untold pressure… My erstwhile best friend got married seven years ago, countless other younger friends and family have gotten married after that too and I have been extremely joyful. So why should my sister’s own be different. Someone said because she’s blood! But hey, to my mind, that makes it all the merrier!

Now, my sister’s journey has begun and honestly, the pressure I felt the most was the pressure of the gele on my head! Loll! But seriously, taking it off was a huge relief! And just as I took it off and sat to catch my breath after the ceremony had been rounded off, my sister came to me, knelt before me, placed her head on my thighs and asked me to pray for her! It was a beautiful moment and for me, the high point of the day! And of course with tears of joy trickling down my face, I poured out blessings from the inner recesses of my heart. I’m positive that no demon can block or delay answers to the prayers I prayed…

I’m sorry to disappoint all the concerned stakeholders (and perhaps myself too)! Maybe I’m just weird as some say or perhaps I’m just used to being a late bloomer or I just have the mind of Christ! Whatever the case, I’m convinced that the success of any of my siblings cannot warrant unnecessary /additional pressure on me neither can it cause any form of resentment. I really wish someone can search my heart and see how much love I have for allllll my siblings. I love them all too dearly! To the point that I don’t care if they love me back… their success, my success, their pain, my pain, their joy my Joy! Smile*

Let me seize this opportunity to doff my heart to the best doctor in the world who graduated from the Nigerian Defence Academy this month too! I love you brother and I’m so proud of you!

That said; let someone tell the Unmarried Big Sister to go get herself a husband so that the stakeholders can have peace! LOL! Fret not my people! I have that sneaky little feeling that he is around the corner! Though he tarries, soon he cometh…..

Common Husband! I’m waiting…..Meanwhile; let’s roll out the drums for the first Aderoba Wedding!

He! He He!

*Don’t you know you’re the mother of the bride (translated literally)

*Gele is the traditional headgear of Yoruba women

Dear Diary

Remember the guy I told you about the other day? Yes! Good! You remember!  We’ve been friends for seven months now. And yeah! Like I said the other time, I still feel the fire! I’m thrilled because He loves God and his desire to get better spiritually is a huge turn on for me! And of course, need I say, he is for all intent and purposes CUTE! Aside the Pinocchio ears and flat ass, he’s just the perfect image of the kina guy you would think I can be attracted to! elmmm, wait  oh! He is light skinned too sha! Yeah! The kind of light that turns red! Buh trust me; don’t think he’ll have been this cute if dark. His height? Make a guess! How tall do u think? Correct! About 6feet two inches!  Jeez Di! U need to see the soul lifting gap in his teeth. Oh Jeesus! He doesn’t open his mouth enough to notice it often buh gosh! The eji takes my breath away! With that alone, I think he’s absolutely beautiful on the outside!  I think he has a beautiful inside too. When love and fear of God drives you, you sure would have a pretty inside I believe…Moreover, from the first day I saw him, a little bird told me something*Smile* you’ll pay me to tell you that part! 

Nevertheless, the shadow of his(and perhaps mine too) past won’t let us be! He’s been battered and broken and so he is treading slowly…perhaps too slowly for me…yeah! He’s got legitimate issues and yeah! In the ‘beginning’, I actually thought he was a No! No! But right now, he’s my world and I’m hungry for an assurance that I’m His too but No! He won’t assure me! And like all Christian brothers that kick your ass in the end, he’s praying about it!

Like his past, he thinks I’ll walk away when reality sets in or he’s still watching and waiting to find the flaw that would make him release me! Or maybe, he’s just got that sneaky little feeling that I’m not the one for him…who knows……perceive indecision, deception, ephemerality….yet, I’m giving love a chance again….

I can’t tell whether this relationship is worth fighting for or worth hanging on to. Yet I’m in it still! Why you ask? Because I’ve tried a plethora of times to stay out of it without success. So Di! Right now, I have two options! To let it die a natural death or let it live till death do us part…. I have kicked the ball out of my court; Let the wind blow it to the most appropriate direction…

For now diary, let’s not talk about this matter…we are just Seven months old by the way!

cheers!

MY RIGHT TO DIE

If I have a right to live, why shouldn’t I have a right to die? Actually thoughts like this race through my mind a lot especially when the issue of Euthanasia (mercy Killing) is debated….Yeah…. E.U.T.H.A.N.S.I.A! As there are people awaiting trial in prisons, there are also people awaiting death…and I can only imagine how terrible either case is! Waiting is never easy! I particularly hate to wait! But life would always teach us to wait for something… Whether it’s waiting for a bus, a friend, a life partner, a baby, a promotion or even a job, it’s never easy! Doesn’t the Bible Say that Hope deferred makes the heart sick! How terrible it would seem for those who have to wait in pain for their Death Day!  And yet, the law doesn’t give them the right to die….

I honestly prefer to remain reticent on issues like Abortion, Euthanasia and the likes but hey! What better place do I have to release my thoughts than on paper (or well, yeah, my blog). There’s no gainsaying that people take the issue of Death really personally and most people fear death.  Not me! Yeah! I’ve never feared to die!  I actually grew up with the consciousness of death.  I remember that as a child, anytime I saw the pain and confusion in my parent’s eyes, I’ll start praying to die so that my folks can be relieved. By age 16, I had written out my epitaph. I had beautiful thoughts of my burial and how beautiful my tomb would be with those words written on it (That reminds me, I should find the journal I wrote it in). Seriously, the thought of my death and burial made me smile. I had a crisis in my final year in the University that tarried for a while and I was sure I was going to die…As I saw my classmates and even lectures troop in each day, My heart gladdened at the number of people to be recorded at my burial *smile*. Rather than stay in a hospital bed wailing in pain and stressing my folks, I thought it was better to die and go to Heaven…a Place where there’s neither pain nor tears.

Assuming the pain a sickler experiences is minute and for a short period, what can we say of a person who had an accident and becomes paralyzed from head to toe, he can no longer do anything for himself and to make matters worse, Doctors say nothing can be done about the situation*smh* I do believe in miracles but how long can a person wait? Sometimes, the victim is a complete vegetable and the family is left to continually spend time and energy catering for the victim endlessly. I wouldn’t want to go into all the bitter cases on Euthanasia I know of in this piece but I must say that I can’t understand why some countries totally criminalize it. I hail countries like Netherlands that permits euthanasia under strict conditions…but for most countries, it remains a crime.*Smh*

The most prevailing argument on issues like this is religious but I’m yet to find superior argument.  In my opinion, the most superior argument against Euthanasia is palliative care. If the terminally ill can find people who really love, care and give hope upon hope, Perhaps they wouldn’t want to die… But alas! In Nigeria, my Nigeria where I’m almost sure there’s a dearth of such centers (yes! centers cause friends and family will surely get tired!), why wouldn’t one rather elect death? Hey preacher, don’t start the sermon! Yeah yeah! God gives and God takes; only God has the right to take a life bla bla! I need a preacher to preach it right to me in a language I’ll understand. But for now, here’s what I believe: If I have a right to life, I should have a right to die. Even God has given us the power of choice and He says in his word, I set before you life and death…choose… (See Deuteronomy 30:19) Apparently, the choice is ours!

And hey! Before you start getting all emotional and judgmental, it’s my right to choose and I choose life! *wink*

Happy living all!

PS: After writing this piece, I had a dream...and God told me via that dream that He is a God that steps in in the nick of time. Next, he gave me a Rhema! Please check it out in Mark 12:24….I’m humbled Lord, help me…