The Last Rule of Happiness

When I was about 16, I read a piece that highlighted the 5 rules of happiness and  the rule that resonated the most in my mind was the last rule which is "Expect Less".

It became a lodestar for me and I wrote it down in every new journal. This guiding principle of mine has indeed structured my thought pattern as it pertains  to  almost all life issues; So much so that  when a person complains of another person or thing, my response is almost always, "What did you expect" or 'it is expected'...

Guess what happened to Mrs Expectation Manager recently? Hmmm. Pekele pekele arugbo jegbese tani o San? Sorry  I cant interpretre that(smiles) Just follow my story....

It happened in the beautiful month of September, the year of our 7th Anniversary.  Le Hubs was going to be out of town on the precise anniversary date, so I gave him his anniversary gift early. And trust me, his reaction was priceless! I didn't need a soothsayer to tell me how much he loved and appreciated the gifts. 

For me, receiving gifts is certainly not my primary love language and I usually don't expect gifts. (My people will say it's difficult to buy me a gift)But this time, with the way Le Hubs was dotting over the gifts he received, I began to expect mine...innocent remarks like, "waoh, this bag is beautiful" or "babe where's your ring or where's your black shoe", suddenly meant more to me because I considered everything he mentioned, a potential gift. 

In fact, the mention of  "ring" made me go the extra mile to  fix my nails in anticipation. I had not fixed my nails in four years but because he mentioned "ring" at that time, I fixed my nails in anticipation of the grand proposal I never had  prior to marriage. Hehehe! Imagine a woman that has been married for 5years expecting a grand social media-type proposal! Lol! Such is the power of expectation..

Interestingly, his trip was cancelled and he was going to be around on the anniversary date. However,he seemed to continually disapprove my plan for the great Saturday E.g. I ask, honey can we go to the beach on Saturday, he says Nope, Sunday is better....and many more negative responses as it related to that Saturday. So, I convinced myself that it was because he had a surprise for me..maybe the grand proposal.. Tell me ...why I no go fix nails? 

But lo and behold,  on that great Saturday, Le Hubs sees my wassap status update and with a tint of sarcasm, says: "Oh! Its Today! Happy Anniversary oh!...

Kai! Fury welled up within me but I kept my cool...in the hope that his remark was just a joke.....Alas, it was no joke! My precious husband, who is usually very good with dates, did not even remember the day, talkless of giving a gift!

That day, I literally understood the meaning of "expectation cut short"! Chai! My people, your expectation shall not be cut short!

I can't put together in words, how much I have seen and know that  Expectation begats Entitlement, Entitlement begats Greediness and Greediness begats Wickedness! 

Unmet expectations is the root cause of  marital problems, sibling rivalry and most relationship issues.

I charge you therefore dear brethren, manage your expectation with due diligence...You owe the world many things but NO ONE owes you anything...

Of a truth, we sometimes have legitimate expectations and its OK to so have, but, I  think its healthier to Expect Less for lofty expectations lead to lofty disappointments...

Hitherto, Cheers to met expectations!




PS: Le Hubs made up for his transgression in many ways than one. Of a truth, I'm a handful, yet, he  is to me, the best husband in the whole Wide World.