My Grandma's Recipe

I’m neither a Dooney or a Sisiyemmie and I generally do not love to cook even though I have always had to; mostly out of a sense of responsibility as the first child in a large family or as a wife and mom. In any case, for whatever it’s worth, I can cook! Shout out to all those that say that my husband is a better cook. LOL!

While, Sisiyemmie and Dooney are my favourite food bloggers, my cooking style is largely influenced by my maternal grandmother. I did not realize how much influence she had on me until I became a mom. She passed exactly 12 years ago. Yet, in the past one year I have missed her more than ever before. sometimes I just wish she was here… Here to help me… to advise me…and most especially to see how far I have come. I feel like she will be so proud. It’s true that you don’t know the value of what you have until you lose it…. My people, let’s enjoy anything we have now oh…

So, Mama the Mama, as we fondly called her, was a strong, caring and vibrant grandma. She was always full of life and energy. She helped her only daughter (my mom) take care of her family in any and every way she could. she was our cook, cleaner, laundryman, u name it! She had a great sense of humour and yet she was principled and firm! She was about 76 years old when she died and up till a few months before she took ill and passed, she still always came to our house to clean and hand-wash every available laundry! Telling her not to do it was synonymous to a heart break for her. If she didn’t find clothes to wash, she’ll wash all the bed-sheets, blinds and curtains! Till date, I miss my grandma every time I see my dirty curtains…

This piece is essentially about some lessons I learnt from my grandma so let’s delve right into it:

·         Time over Toys: Mama’s most popular phrase to my parents was: Ra Ra Ra, Ra, Buy, Buy, Buy, Buy, Se yen lokan! My dad worked in the bank and my mom had moved to Abuja to work so spending time with my parents was a fantasy. As if to make up for the time, my parents got us toys or whatever presents we requested especially to reward good behaviour or grades and when mama sees our presents, she will always shout 'rararara'! Then, to us, it was like; 'why is this woman such a kill-joy! Why wouldn’t she want our parents to buy us things we like! But now, I look back and know for sure that all she meant was: mehn, these kids need you more than all these. … I have learnt therefore that the time you spend with your kids even though unappreciated is worth more than any thing else money can buy. Kids grow so fast and before you know it, they don’t need you around anymore!

·         KARAMASIKI:  I think this word is the deepest Yoruba word I know. My grandma is not Yoruba but she speaks Yoruba fluently. I have heard her use the word a gazillion times. It’s a word she couldn’t translate to English but I found the meaning in Mama’s attitude to her grand-kids. From Mama, I  found the word karamasiki to mean a show of  deep, all round care or concern for one’s children. Even as an adult,  Mama was interested in my studies, my relationships, my health….Hmm…Mama over-karamasiki….and honestly I pray not to over -do it like Mama…one time it appeared I was  beginning to cross the line from karamasiki to over-karamasiki and a timely and  simple statement by my Children’s first teacher, Mrs Ayoola, put me in check!  she said and I quote: ‘Mummy, Let go and Let God! And since then, for everytime I begin to fret over the care of my children, I hear those words and I calm down. Indeed, our children belong to God, we should learn to let HIM takeover…

·         Frugal yet Healthy meals:  Mama taught me that you need not rob a bank to feed growing children. She’ll always say to my mom: ‘Mary, ounje omode o need gbogbo eleyi’ i.e feeding children does not require this much. While my mom likes to cook with a mix of meat parts(orisirisi) and condiments and then give us little so we don’t waste it, mama will cook with less and make you eat a lot more. In retrospect grandma’s food is almost always better and healthier! I smell agbarobobo with dry fish as I type i.e  cornflour soup with bitterleaf that only mama can cook perfectly…

Today, all thanks to mama, I can cook a decent meal for my family with minimum resources and anytime my resources are limited, I cook with a knowing that mama, if she could look into my pot, will give me a thumbs up.

·         Owo leyan fin tunkan se:  simply put, this means, Use your hands! My grandma had magical fingers, No matter how dirty an item is, no matter the stains, if mama’s hand touches it, it will become sparkling clean! So much so that I hide my priced jeans or dresses away from her to prevent her from over-washing them. Interestingly, she never really needed a tile cleaner or any expensive soap or chemicals to do any cleaning. And when you ask her, ‘Mama ki lefi fo? She will say owo leyan fin tun kan se which literally means:  It is your hands that you use to fix things. Today, when I am tempted to leave a thing dirty because I have run out of my favorite brand of soap or chemicals, I hear Mama’s voice telling me to use my hands and pronto I get the job done!

·         Never Visit Empty: It was almost a taboo for Mama to go visit anyone without taking something to give to her host. These days, people calculate the cost of commuting to visit the host and consider it a worthy sacrifice. But my grandma believed in giving no matter how small. Mama, won’t come to our house, which was her second home without something! From Ajegunle Bread to tangerines, KuliKuli, Chinchin, not to talk of all her special condiments to cook soup and make agbo.  Thanks to mama, I feel awkward whenever I have to visit anyone especially my niece and nephews without any goodies. Though I want my nieces and nephews to love me for me and not the gifts I bring, I will not slack in showing all my children, in any way possible, that it’s better to be a giver than a receiver!

·         Don’t die intestate! Mama had no formal education, yet she was a very wise and intelligent woman. She saved my mom the hassle of a traditional burial ceremony by including her burial arrangements in her will. She could neither read nor write but she had someone write for her as she dictated her words. We found that she reviewed her wills intermittently from the dates on them. They were handwritten on old papers and she had them kept safely in her room. Thank God my mom found them! Mama didn’t have much, yet the little she had, she distributed in her will. If mama can make such arrangements, can someone tell me why wealthy educated people die intestate and cause trouble for those they leave behind?

·         Owuro Lojo! I have typed over 500 words already so I have to stop here! But not without an interpretation at least. Owuro lo’jo simply means Morning time is the best time! And yes, Mama was a morning person, you can’t catch her in bed by 7am. As I type, it’s almost impossible to see my toddlers in bed by 7am. Hopefully, when they became teenagers, there won’t be need for too much talk on the importance of rising early to do the needful.  Talo ma fi jo!

In retrospect, I can say that my grandmother taught me so much more than words will permit. I am grateful my kids have their grandparents and I am sure they are taking learnings already.

Mama the Mama! It’s exactly twelve years you departed this planet…  Oma Ebije, Abiamo toto! Sun re oh! A o pade leti odo…