The Truth at Thirty

“The truth is, it doesn’t feel the same anymore.” The words hit me like a time bomb on a bright Tuesday morning! I was helpless, lost, puzzled, awed, dumbfounded, perplexed, name it…The grip to my phone tightened; I pressed my butt firmly to my seat and sat straightened as if to prevent fainting. Warm tears trickled out of my bulging eyes and fell to my skirt and I just couldn’t stop the flow…
I could hear other lawyers stroll into the courtroom and I could see them all clad in black suits and scrambling for the cause-list to fill in their names. I knew I was in the court room but I was no longer sure of the reason I was there. The footsteps became quicker and lawyers hurriedly robed and settled into their seats. It was 9am and the judges would be in in a few minutes. Yet there I was motionless, not oblivious but helpless, just helpless… The tears dried up on my lightly made up face…He was the reason for the makeup, I expected to see him in court…Suddenly, I got up like a robot and went behind the Courtroom to sit with non-lawyers. I certainly was not going to enter appearance. The court room was filled to the brim and there were no other seats so I stood and stared into the air until I heard my name. A learned friend had been calling my name repeatedly across the court room! He walked towards me, elegantly robed and said: ‘Wunmi, ki lo se e’*, the tears erupted and I hugged him to cry all the more…wetting his gown…
We were going to get married, we just got an apartment and we were almost done furnishing. Like most couples at this stage, we disagreed more albeit to agree again. I had seen him on Sunday in ‘our’ apartment. We had parted on a good note, he dropped me off and we were both happy or so I thought …
On Monday, no calls from him, neither did he pick my repeated calls. I continued to call him on Tuesday morning and alas! He sent me an SMS… to say the truth!!! ‘So what’s the way forward hon?’ I asked in a note I dropped by his side mirror when I saw his car in the court premises that same Tuesday. Of course, I had tried to call him but he didn’t pick up. I sent him a mail asking the same question and behold! He replied: ‘Ayaam still in the attitude of prayer’. I was tad relieved! Yes! Relieved! Because I was sure that if it was about prayer, God would confirm what we had heard all the while.
Hadn’t God given me a word or even words? Didn’t his pastor confirm us as good for each other? Didn’t my mom’s pastor also do same? Didn’t our parents approve of us? Of Course! The Spiritual aspect was to my mind, more than settled so I was sure He would only get a confirmation. I would wait until his prayer session ended…it was a long wait, he refused to communicate during this period as he neither called nor picked my calls… minutes turned to hours, hours to days, days to weeks and then a month. My Handsome Christian Brother was still praying!
One Saturday evening, he picked up the phone when I called and I said to him: ‘Honey, How far with your prayers?’ and in a most hostile tone he said: ‘I said I would get back to you when I’m done praying’ Tears ticked down my eyes like a partially closed tap and the line cut…
Minutes later, I braced up and called him back, I told him I was on my way to his house that night and that I was going to move in with him until God answered his prayers and we agreed on the way forward. Though he claimed he was not home, I assured him I would wait at his gate till he arrived (was only threatening*smile*)
In another few minutes, I got an email from him and in it were these words:  ‘… I do not desire you as much…there’s no more time to experiment…’ And though I knew this was coming, I cringed in pain as I read the words. The End had come and painfully so…
The truth of the matter was that I knew! I always had the gut feeling… I knew…. I knew he didn’t desire me as much, I knew he didn’t love me as much I knew  this was coming…Yet still, his truth pierced me like a dagger to my soul, wounding my body and causing me to spend nights in the hospital. But yea though I ride through deep waters, I will not drown for the Lord would be with me (Isaiah 43:2) and truly He was.
Ade neither called nor come to see me in the hospital but God didn’t leave me, instead, He told me the greater truth: I am the Lord your redeemer, who punishes you for your own good and leads you along the path that you should follow… Weeping may last all night but joy comes in the morning (Isaiah 48:17, Psalm 30:5 LB).

I’m thirty and the clock is ticking. Ade’s truth hurts but the greater truth of God’s word heals. Joy cometh and of this I’m sure.
Let all the thirty plus single ladies shout the truth out loud with me in faith: ‘My Joy cometh!’
So shall it be! AMEN!
*meaning What's wrong with you?(Yoruba language)

 

This Thing Called Marriage

My father used to say it’s the most difficult institution! ‘Tougher than obtaining a University degree’; He says! And for me who getting my LL.B didn’t come easy, that’s something scary…
Many newlyweds say it’s beautiful. Yet, many that survive the first ten years say its bitter sweet.
Difficult, Beautiful, Bitter-Sweet! What an oxymoron marriage is!
Countless women (well, and men too I guess) have died in and for this thing called marriage. Many have been physically and internally injured and many are only enduring… I have in recent times watched countless divorce proceedings in court and OMG it’s all so scary.
With a plethora of sad marriages, people like me can only hope for the best! I hope another Divorce matter is not assigned to me soon. I need time to clear my head…maybe to bask in fictitious love stories or perhaps, some real life sweet marriage stories…
Meanwhile, I find consolation in neither my man nor in myself but in God’s word. For He said specifically unto me ‘…and the Light of Heaven shall shine upon the road ahead of you’… And though I’m shaky right now, LORD, I BELIEVE! Therefore, for this thing called Marriage, I am next in line! God bless my Marriage! AMEN.

Is he the one?

About Six feet, Pointed Nose, good legs and ehhhh light skin (not one of my fav features).
In totality, a handsome young man… older than me, compatible genotype, a lawyer, a Christian and from a tad good family background. What else can a woman ask for?
He is timely (a virtue I cherish), He loves to laugh, He loves football, He loves the Law and He loves God.
But! He is reserved, tad egocentric and not very expressive…I mean, show of love…like elmmm, I mean...not very romantic! Whew! Trust me! That’s a huge challenge for me…yeah, me: My birth alone called for attention…I grew up with lots of love and attention…well, let’s leave me, I’m talking about him.
Because of this “Buts”, I fear he doesn’t love me. I feel betrothed to him (well, at some point in my life I was wishing for that, for, I was tired of calculating whether a man was right or not…)
*Emi nko? Do I love him?…Yeah! I believe so! I have no butterflies but I sure have a strong desire to commit to this man, to understand him, tolerate him, to be faithful to him and to grow profoundly in love for him.
I ask myself, are you sure this willingness isn’t because you are 30 and time is of the essence? Or did I choose merely for lack of a better option? (Perhaps, that’s why he has chosen me too). The answers, I can’t say! But what I can say and know for sure is that with respect to this matter, God has given me a blank cheque (Job 22:28LB) and I have put his name on it. He is the one I have chosen. God bless my decision! AMEN!

*yoruba language which means: And me?

2012: the Beginning of the End

As the clock hit 12 on the 1st of January, shouts of halleluyah echoed from homes and a few churches, fireworks and music also followed as the night turned into day. And then came the announcement that the fuel price had become 141naira per litre! fuel Subsidy had been removed...Protests began and the Nigerian Labour Congress declared a strike action.
Protests started on the 9th of January and from day one, the Nigerian people sang the same song. Not only was the removal of fuel subsidy condemned, the people released pent-up emotions flowing from past inefficient government policies.The common denominator being that the people lack trust in the government and are tired of corruption in the polity.
The protests revealed another side of the Nigerian people! The unity of purpose has been awesome and the solidarity unparalleled! Christians, Muslims, traditionalists, elites, masses, illiterates and literates alike came together within and outside Nigeria to sing the same song: "Enough is Enough". Even a blind man can see amidst gross darkness that the Nigerian people are hungry for change...
Seven days have past and it seems the government won't budge in the hope that Nigerians would relent. They wish! *Yimu* And even if we relent i am happy for Nigeria! I am happy that the year 2012 has ushered us into the beginning of the end of an unjust era, the beginning of the end of corruption, the beginning of the end of insensitive and ineffective governance!Indeed, this is just the beginning!
Let the Nigerian people continue the fight even though the road be rough. Let us not give up, even when darkness overshadows us; For, in the words of the greatest president Nigeria never had,Obafemi Awolowo, after darkness comes a glorious dawn!
LONG LIVE NIGERIA!
ALUTA CONTINUA!

*yimu* in the Yoruba language is a sarcastic facial expression.

And the year 2011 Ends...

The number 'Eleven'(11) looks pleasantly dangerous. Thus, most were unsure of what to expect...or were'nt you? The year rolled slowly and then suddenly, it rolled faster and faster and now the end has come!

For the World,there were more 'ups' than 'downs' for the fall of the world's mighty was a really big 'up' (Osama,Ghadaffi,Mubarack, Mugabe...)Also, when compared to the penultimate years,i believe there were fewer reported cases of natural disasters around the globe and this i must say is another big up, big enough to over-write the world's many 'downs'.

For Nigeria,I'm sure any Nigerian would say it's been more 'downs' than 'ups', not with moot issues like the irrational budget, fuel subsidy removal and Boko Haram. One can only wonder how Nigerians still go around the world with their heads up high!

And Omowunmi Aderoba? she wouldnt dare count any 'downs' as there is no gainsaying that 2011 has been dangerously pleasant for her:Call to the Nigerian Bar, Call to serve the nation,good health, good jobs and a special man are a few of her many blessings! And even as the year ends, she is sure to expect greater things in 2012!
Goodbye 2011 and welcome 2012!

He chose me

Back in the University of Lagos, I was at the frontline of activities in the Christian Law Students Fellowship(CLASFON); two term prayer secretary, one time Vice- President, committee head and even as a member, I was a member indeed.
So involved was I that my parents became against it, especially when my grades fell. Consequently, I decided to ‘pipe low’ in the law school but alas just when I thought I had it under control, I was given an assignment in CLASFON. By then, I had chosen Chapel of Hope as my place of worship and unfortunately, I had been co-opted into the Student’s Representative Council (SRC).
Did I have a choice? Oh Yes I did! I could have left one church for the other, but I was unsure about which to leave, so I asked God to help me make a choice. I prayed and waited but got no specific instructions. So I went on with both, hoping that I would get a sign somehow. Perhaps, something would annoy me in one of the churches and I would have an excuse to just leave. Time passed, and nothing seemed a sufficient excuse, so I carried on.
The examination term came and just when I thought I had the perfect excuse, God spoke to me through His word in Hebrew 6:11-12. ‘Chai! This kain God’, I thought; and while I was still thinking, He said to me: You did not Choose me but I Chose you...John15:16.
Certainly, when God chooses you, you can’t hide, you can’t run, and you can’t ‘pipe low’. Like Jonah in the Bible, if you run, He’ll catch you, if you hide, He’ll find you, and when you try to pipe low, he’ll blow your trumpet because He CHOSE YOU!
Some say to me, ‘Na everyday you dey go church?’, others wonder where I get the strength and a number are waiting to see my end...For me, I’m neither wondering nor waiting...rather, I’m assured of His grace more than ever before. The one who did the choosing and has done the keeping would do the finishing...
Now to Him who made my stay in Agbani worthwhile, To Him who has preserved me and blessed me with good people, and To Him who chose me for a time as this and for a place as this...To Him be all the Glory for ever. AMEN.
(published in CH-NLS year book)

SEASONS GREETINGS

One, two, three... thirty one people slept in this house today! Aside the dogs, parrots, tortoise, geckos and insects of course!
Yes! That’s what Christmas is about for me; MY FAMILY. It’s a time for all of us to get together and be together! It’s a time for us to be family! All through the year, work, school and varying itinerary won’t just let us be! But at Christmas, we actually become family...
It’s a season where we get to play, pray and study the word together. It’s a season where I get to eat less because I cook more, it’s a season where I yell all the more(guess that’s typical of a choleric (Cholmel actually) firstborn...) It’s a season when I get to leave my bed to sleep on the floor or couch. And for my parents, it’s a season when they certainly spend more! In all, it’s a season of LOVE and SACRIFICE. Actually, that’s what the birth of Jesus is about, that’s what Christmas is about.
Some say Christmas is not what it used to be and true, they just might be right; considering the dwindling economy and polity and even the general decadence in moral socio-cultural/ traditional values: a world where people and governments no longer value the ‘concept’ of Christmas.
Indeed, for me, all these and more are variables. Through the years and through it all, MY FAMILY has remained a constant at the yuletide; we come together and share what we have: the joy of living together in love, the joy of Christmas.
Although I fear for a time when either I or any of my siblings’ would get married and our spouse or new family life would not permit our yuletide gathering. Still, I’m enjoying it while it lasts and I can only pray that we would always remain family in and out of season!
Seasons Greetings to ma famile! And to my friends, especially you reading this; Felix Navidad et/ou Bon annee!