#Crossing my Tees#

So, I took this job  a year ago. I had been a Stay at Home Mom for almost 4years before then and thus considered it OK to "start small" .

In the Spirit of starting small, I took the job and renumeration of a complete newbie and deliberately swept under the carpet the fact that I was technically 8 years Post Call and  37years of age. Thank God for a youthful look, I'ld pass for an under-27(Tongue in cheek) so I  purposed in my heart to act the part  I was designated for with utmost humility and subservience and to learn all I could as a Solicitor in the Coperate Circles since my prior Post- Call  experience was solely in Litigation . So how was my one year experience? 

Hmm...Within the first Six weeks, I cried quite a lot. First because leaving my three Tees especially my 18 month-old who had to start school was really heart-rendering. Both mother and son cried each morning as I left for work...

Secondly, my mode of daily commuting to work was like a whole new ball game..honestly can't explain this part...I just be like JJC all of a sudden. One day conductor ran off with my 200 naira change, another day my hair hung to the roof of danfo and countless other things that made me cry. 

Thirdly, my boss was a  choleric ,like me,and she made me cry a few times too. I really do salute myself for the self control and subservience I displayed all through. You see, My boss is 33 and we are literaly "peers" at the bar so u can imagine the will power it took to remain subservient... I however gave my self a deadline as I knew the subservience would not last too long...

Off the job, my boss and I became like sisters, she does have a heart of gold and I do not blame her for my feelings or sentiments, afterall, oun ko lo koba mi, yeah, its not her fault that I am a late bloomer na. Abi. My daily prayer became:omo mi kan kan o ni seru egbe lagbara Edumare...(elmm,that's yoruba and I don't know the best interpretation.lol.).

Aside the factors that occasionally made me cry, I had a beautiful time at work. I deliberately and painstakingly became friends with many and in retrospect, I must say the relationships that evolved is a major achievement for me. 

It's impossible for me to recount my last one year work experience without talking about my Health. In the words of my hematologist, "Madam, you have started developing Sickle Cell Complications and you have to be more deliberate about your health..."

Yeah that's the summary of it all, indications of these complications started with my eyes and then my hips and Lungs all within this one year, it became apparent that something had changed in one year, and all fingers pointed to the job, something about it was wearing me out and though I kind of think that it was all a coincidence and the complications could have arisen if I was at  home,the major issue for me was that my three Tees plus X* who are at the receiving end of these maladiies were really freaking out...

And so,I thought to myself : "assuming i'm gonna die of these complications soon, why don't I give this time to these three Tees of mine...and even  if i'm not gonna die soon, is it a bad idea to give them more of me now than later....isnt this the best time to be with my kids and create memories?

Is the Salary I was being paid worthy of the belittlement at work, or worth more than my health or time with my family? Or is the facade of being a working woman more important than my divine role of mothering my children. Is it a better decision to please my parents who want me to be independent or my outstanding husband who doesn't mind the dependency? Will my family get by without my income? 

The answers to these and many more questions made me take a decision and of course today I feel at peace knowing that if all I do on planet earth is to raise my children the best way I can and be the best wife I can be to my husband and in doing so, generally influence my world even without affluence, I would have by my own standard, done well ..

And yes, I said even without affluence but e no mean say I no like money oh. This money I go make am somehow....

So while we think of how to make this money, let me say this:the Employee-Labour Market is full of Sh*t especially for late bloomers, so if you are one, be ready to humbly eat plenty of it while you catch up... 

I have always loved the structure and stability that comes with being in paid employment and I still might consider it again subject to more informed and insightful terms which I have now gained, albeit, l now understand why many tow the entrepreneurial line and  honestly my phobia for the entrepreneurial fad has disappeared.

The past one year has given me the needed push to look inwards and honestly I am still looking and don't know how and when I will complete this inward looking process. I obviously can't articulate exactly what i'm gonna do, how I'm gonna do it or when I'm gonna do it but I do know that crossing my Tees is a safe place to start.

Being a home maker comes most natural to me and yeah though,according to my daughter, I can shout on top of my voice for the slightest of  childs play at home, there's no place I'll rather be..at least for now! 

Shout out to all the Stay at Home Moms out there. I joyfully welcome myself back to the fold. Cheers!

*The X refers to each person that constitute the formidable support system I am privileged to have. Words can't express my gratitude to each and every one of them....

I give all the glory to my creator, who I have tasted and known as Agbanilagbatan,the great deliverer, Baba to ju Baba lo, the greatest of Fathers and the lover of my soul,Ololufe Okan mi...Ka bi esi ohhhhhhh!!!!.

MY EPITAPH

'Oh Death where is thy sting'? asked Apostle paul in 1Corithians 15 v 55..For those whose portion is in this life, death is a fearful and uncertain prospect, but for all who belong to Jesus, it holds no terror.
I wrote my epitaph out as a teenager.. by that time i had been hospitalized a -zillion times with each hospital visit causing fear and panic for my loved ones...But even as a child, I preferred to die than live in pain and sickness. Afterall,if indeed heaven is a more beautiful place, isnt it better to go to the more beautiful place???
My sentiments as sn Adult remain d same thou i now have more zeal to remain alive to mother my children and wife my husband most excellently for at least another 37 years.I will really love to celebrate my 40th wedding Anniversary in health and love and plenty, Have a beautiful party for my husband at 70 and enjoy many other blessings in between... Nonetheless i have a revised Epitaph and live for this words to be written on my tomb:

TO LIVE IN THE HEARTS OF THOSE WE LOVE IS NOT TO DIE,THOUGH MY SONG IS ENDED, MAY MY MELODY LINGER ON....
Omowunmi Oluwaseun Adeniyi
        (Nee Aderoba)
Born: May 20 1982
Died:May.....
Burried May..

Hitherto Lord, make my life beautiful and my death easy. AMEN.

Tmommy

Dear Diary,
 In a few hours my son will be one already!For my daughter I wanted her to talk fast, walk fast and just get indpendent real quick but with my son, i am so not in a hurry rather I am trying to savour every moment of this babyhood as i do not intend to go down this route again...
Tolulope completes my team and in no time, he will be a man,yet, forever, no matter how fast he grows or how  independent he gets, he will always be my son...
So I was just thinking one time that since I'm a mom to two Tbabies , I reckon that Mummy Tiwa is not very apt for I am Mummy Tolu too *GRIN*
I therefore now wish to be called Tmommy!!!hehehe!!!!Cheers to mommyhood,now and forever!
Ps: Happy Birthday son!💋

Motherhood is only but a Priviledge.

Hmm, I shall endeavour to make this short so I don't  end up  sounding unappreciative of mothers in this piece.
Let me first reinterate that I love my mum alot especially since i became a wife and mom,my love for her increases daily....and i really want to do all I can to make her later years sweet.
Yet still, I do think that d concept of motherhood is a tad overated... especially in this part of the world...
Not a day passes when i tune in to Africa Magic Yoruba that i wont watch an overindulged mom or motherinlaw exceeding boundaries...i see mothers slaping their chest saying i am your mother so you must do this or that..Grrrr....hellooooo... why should a mother feel entititiled to her child's wealth,income or home.... worse still mums who seemingly abandoned their 'mommyduties' in the earlier years also lay  claim to their children's sucesses just because they birth the child...as if the decision to birth a child is a selfless one...
In this part of the world, folks still have many children just so they have more 'care' options in the future and for many more selfish reasons!...oh common!..wake up people!
Should the parent/child relationship be trade by barter? As a matter of fact i do believe that it is mandatory for a parent to cater for a child and not necessarily the other way round! For goodness sake, it was your decision(oftentimes) to have a child! so you should take total responsibility and endure the possible pains and/or gains of raising a child...Am I saying that children shouldnt honour or take care of their parents ?No! I am just saying that it is healthier for you as a mother/ parent not to feel entitiled to it....If u manage to raise good children,they will do the needful fullstop!
If all mothers embrace motherhood as a 'privilege', as a 'trust',as a 'gift', as a 'grace' and not as a right or a rewarding job, perhaps we will have 'nicer' motheinlaws,daughters and sisters and of course a better world.....

Ps: Did I hear you say this is just a young momma's thoughts..*grin*....oh yes! let's see if it changes within the next 38 years...*wider grin*

Letter to my 30 year old unmarried Sister

Dear Sister,
Today, I smile as I remember when I turned 30, the events that preceeded it and the events that followed... If you are any bit like me, you may have started consoling yourself with "truths" like: ^Marriage is not worth rushing into, ^Sex before Marriage is worth nothing, ^'Late' marriage is  beneficial and so on. I must tell u they are true words so really believe them and not just take them as mere consolation points.
Permit me,my dear sister, to retrospectively share some more truths with you in this letter.
First, I know you know, but I want you to really know and believe that we all have different times and seasons. Though the orange and tomato seed be planted on the same day, they wont produce fruit on the same day thus comparing yourself with ANYBODY is pointless!
Second, I want you to know and really really believe scriptures especially Jeremiah 29 v 11. He indeed knows the plans He has for u and trust me, they are GOOD! Don't miss them by being wise in your own eyes. See Proverbs 3 v 5-6.
Third, Know that without a relationship with God, WAITING is never fun; be it waiting for a bus,admission,marriage,a child or  whatever! Yet, Sometimes, the Lord wants us to wait in order that we learn patience and attain maturity required for the next phase. So, while you wait,Love the Lord,Serve him and Trust Him like never before. Isiah 26 v 3 says: He'll keep in perfect peace, he whoose mind is stayed on him. oh! how can I express the peace the Lord gives amidst a storm... I enjoyed this premarital peace at some point and I really wish you enjoy same!
Fourthly, Know that your folks do care. Some may not be as encouraging or as quiet as you desire but they do care. So even though they seemingly always remind you of your marital status, do comparisms and even insult you, don't take offence, just love them right back!☺😍
Finally, Do the needful! You cannot expect your spouse to find you when u are constantly indoors.Brighten up girl! Mix up, be friendly,be courteous, be humble,be kind... Attend empowering events,weddings, birthdays and church programmes. But, do so, not in a desperate attempt to finding a man but to gain knowledge, aerate and have fun! You can't afford to overdo any of these things.Do all in moderation. Behold, the honest truth is that good guys refrain from girls that are always at all parties and girls that are heavily madeup...
I can understand that you  work round the clock and at weekends you only want to rest but hey! you just have to step out!
And of course you need to step out spiritually too, You need to step out of your spiritual comfort zone! if you have never fasted about your spouse before, u should do so,if u havent been at a vigil or gone to a moutain top to pray, try it, sow seeds for your marriage girl! Life is a battle and forces are real so sometimes you need to fight for your marriage. Generational curses, 'Ogun amubo' , Ogo de-emi pin, Spiritual husband etc are some things I learnt of when I stepped out of my spiritual comfort zone...Did I really believe that I had any of such issues? NO! Yet still, for whatever it was worth. I fought the fight against them.(I hope you can pray in tounges oh).
After all said and done, go on and enjoy your single life girl. As in,enjoy it whilst it lasts; 'cos girl! sometimes I miss being single! For instance, it's not so much fun being confined to the nursing mothers section and trying to console your crying baby when quality  praise and worship is going on...smh..But hey! I'm not complaining oh! Rather, I am full of gratitude to God...See me na, after my 30th birthday I was 'dumped' LOL but today @ 35, I am HAPPILY married with TWO beautiful kids!
Indeed, I have tasted and know God's faithfulness in my marriage and I am confident that he is working out the best in other areas of my life too. Thats why the chorus of Ebenezer Obey's song, "Aimasiko" is my ringtone 😅😅. Pls lets sing it together as I end this 'epistle'.
   "Hale hale o le hale mo mi rara
     mo 'la'la feyinti mo l'Oluwa
     Oro mi owo Oluwa lowa!" hehehe! You should learn the entire song if you dont know it already. Meanwhile, I bluetooth the dimension of marital grace and mercy I have enjoyed to you too dear. RECEIVE!

Thirty-Five & Thrilled!

I'm not sure that "thrilled" is the most apt word for how happy, fufilled and grateful I am as I clock 35 in 10days!
For once, the contemporary phrase "Birthday Loading..." makes sense to me because I am so excited about this birthday! As usual, I do not have plans for a party or anything special but for some reason i am just thrilled about my 35th birthday!
Flash back to my 30th birthday and the events that followed...who would have said that by 35, I will be HAPPILY MARRIED with TWO kids! Only God! Only Him knows the end from the beginning! Chai! I can only imagine how God in heaven would have felt whilst I worried...Indeed, His plans for us are good! Of a truth, though weeping endures all night, joy comes in the morning! Baba God, I thank you ohhh! Today, I look back and can confidently say to any mature single lady: "Trust God and Worry Not, The Lord makes all things beautiful in His Time"! I should post my learnings for Mature Single Ladies after this..
Meanwhile, let me bask  gratefully and joyfully in the birthday euphoria! Indeed, I am thrilled!!! May the next thirty-five birthdays all bring same or more joy and fufillment than this! AMEN!

My Internet Presence

Yaay, it always feels good to write....and i still wonder why i am not writting as much as i should. I should really consider making money from writting oh...Anyways, guess what? I found a long lost friend. Or rather, she found me. Shout out to Moni Sonde-Olatunji! Grin*
So i am neither on facebook, Twitter or instagram....i used to be  though but that was in the very beginning until i realized it wasnt of any precise benefit to me. I am a private person and i like my space... But for this attribute,I should have considered full fledged lifestyle blogging like Sisiyemmie☺
 Anyways, Moni checked me up on the internet and found my blog but without any contact details. So i decided to use this medium to add at least my email address for anyone else in search of me!☺😃So folks pending my mega bloom...I think it suffices to say that:
 I am Omowunmi Aderoba-Adeniyi. I like to write it as Omoaderoba Ayaadeniyi( meaning d child of Aderoba and the wife of Adeniyi)
I attended Fountain School, FGGC Oyo and University of Lagos and i can be reached via: thesire205@gmail.com.😀
Thank you Moni for making me know that i do have an internet presence that needed an upgrade....fingers crossed till my mega bloom....grin*
Blessings!