The Will of God

I find the banal way d phraseology “will of God” is used very exasperating!  I acknowledge that for a few, it is indeed a statement of faith, for some others, it might pass for a statement of fact and for a vast majority it is a cunningly slothful way of evading responsibilities!

Imagine a mom’s response to her child’s request for cookies being: No dear, it’s not the will of God for you! Or a teenage girl tells her dad she desires to be a fashion designer and all her dad can tell her is that it’s not the will of God for her! How can she understand that! And how on earth can I understand my boyfriend’s failure to take the requisite steps because he is not sure it is the will of God!

Oh! Dear boyfriend! What in God’s name is the will of God! You hover around me like bees on a honey comb; you query me for being on the phone with another for too long! You fraternize with my entire family like you knew them before me and yet you do not confess your intention ‘cos you need to confirm the will of God! How I’m I supposed to understand that. Shouldn't you rather give me a wide berth while u confirm God’s will?

I apologize for the deviation, let’s put my dear boyfriend aside and tackle this issue. What exactly is the Will of God? Isn't the phrase vague? How can we know God’s specific will for our individual lives?

Countless thoughts and literature abound on this subject which I wouldn’t want to analyse here. But if you are like me, the more you read on topics like this, the more mysterious it becomes. I’m no longer mystified about this concept because I am a friend of God! Lol! Yeah! So I enjoin you to become his friend so you might understand what I now understand. And yes! That’s the first step, to know the will of God, you must befriend God!

Many Christians are still babies and need help to understand God’s will and that’s why they run to pastors and prophets. In the days of old, When Jesus, the mediator was not available, it was the norm to consult the prophets but today, we have access to God himself yet most of us fail to use the access we have(See Hebrews 1:1-2). This is not to totally undermine the role of our Spiritual parents, pastors and prophets in providing spiritual guidance to knowing God’s will. It’s just a wake-up call to YOU to maximize the access God has given you to Him.

The importance of the Bible as a timeless and prolific compass to understanding God’s will cannot also be over emphasized. The Bible is replete with God’s will in different general areas. E.g. God wills that we all be chaste. (1 Thess 4:3) He wills for us to prosper and have good health (1 John 1:2) e.t.c. But of course, the bible doesn't name Omowunmi’s husband neither would the bible specifically ask me to choose GTBank over First Bank to work for or bank with. However, most of us want specifics that’s why we take pictures and names of suitors to prophets…Hmmmm… Since the Bible does not usually do specifics, how then can we know God’s exact will in specific individual situations?

I found a profound scripture that laid my mind to rest on this issue! Philippians 2: 13(NIV) which says:  for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purposes. What a Rhema! Do catch it if you can! As for me, I believe that God’s will is in my desires, God’s will is in my gifts and abilities, and God’s will is in me. And as long as I continually align myself with Him, I cannot miss His will…

After all said, written, typed, and done, thy will be done oh Lord!

Shalom!

The Unmarried Elder Sister

‘So’mo pe iwo ni iyayawo ni?* 'You have to tie gele'!* And so I did! I had the gele tied firmly to my head on the 18th of May 2013. It’s always been a peculiar date ‘cos it doubles as both Ope(My Baby Sis) and Tennessee’s (My mom’s 3yrold terrier) birthday. But this year, it also trippled as Yewande’s Inroduction! I’m sure everyone almost forgot birthdays and only looked forward to Yewande’s intro. Well, I did! I honestly forgot my birthday this year (May20) too! The month of May was all about Yewande’s intro!

“Introduction,” as we call it here, is the equivalent of the Western ‘Meet the Parents’ gathering. But you can be sure that as with other Yoruba gatherings, a simple introduction can be overtly hyped with so much pomp and pageantry. And of course, my sister’s into wasn’t short of expectation…

Like all other gatherings in my father’s house, I anticipated lots of things : to give up my bed, my room, clean up more, yell more( well, I no longer yell as much*smile*), kneel(to greet) more, serve more, and of course dance more!

And guess what? I also expected to feel marital pressure in a new dimension… why? Because people, especially two dear people to my heart had earlier warned me to do something about my unmarried status before May 18, 2013 which was the beginning of my younger sister’s marital journey. They had speculated that I would understand the consequence of my unmarried status the moment Yewande started her journey. And of course, I laughed about their fears and made jokes of their speculations!

Please don’t get me wrong! I sure want to get married. I’m most definitely mindful that my biological clock is ticking and for a plethora of other reasons, I certainly want to get this phase over and done with! The crux of this piece is simply that I’m all the more convinced that my sister’s wedding isn’t gonna add any more untold pressure… My erstwhile best friend got married seven years ago, countless other younger friends and family have gotten married after that too and I have been extremely joyful. So why should my sister’s own be different. Someone said because she’s blood! But hey, to my mind, that makes it all the merrier!

Now, my sister’s journey has begun and honestly, the pressure I felt the most was the pressure of the gele on my head! Loll! But seriously, taking it off was a huge relief! And just as I took it off and sat to catch my breath after the ceremony had been rounded off, my sister came to me, knelt before me, placed her head on my thighs and asked me to pray for her! It was a beautiful moment and for me, the high point of the day! And of course with tears of joy trickling down my face, I poured out blessings from the inner recesses of my heart. I’m positive that no demon can block or delay answers to the prayers I prayed…

I’m sorry to disappoint all the concerned stakeholders (and perhaps myself too)! Maybe I’m just weird as some say or perhaps I’m just used to being a late bloomer or I just have the mind of Christ! Whatever the case, I’m convinced that the success of any of my siblings cannot warrant unnecessary /additional pressure on me neither can it cause any form of resentment. I really wish someone can search my heart and see how much love I have for allllll my siblings. I love them all too dearly! To the point that I don’t care if they love me back… their success, my success, their pain, my pain, their joy my Joy! Smile*

Let me seize this opportunity to doff my heart to the best doctor in the world who graduated from the Nigerian Defence Academy this month too! I love you brother and I’m so proud of you!

That said; let someone tell the Unmarried Big Sister to go get herself a husband so that the stakeholders can have peace! LOL! Fret not my people! I have that sneaky little feeling that he is around the corner! Though he tarries, soon he cometh…..

Common Husband! I’m waiting…..Meanwhile; let’s roll out the drums for the first Aderoba Wedding!

He! He He!

*Don’t you know you’re the mother of the bride (translated literally)

*Gele is the traditional headgear of Yoruba women

Dear Diary

Remember the guy I told you about the other day? Yes! Good! You remember!  We’ve been friends for seven months now. And yeah! Like I said the other time, I still feel the fire! I’m thrilled because He loves God and his desire to get better spiritually is a huge turn on for me! And of course, need I say, he is for all intent and purposes CUTE! Aside the Pinocchio ears and flat ass, he’s just the perfect image of the kina guy you would think I can be attracted to! elmmm, wait  oh! He is light skinned too sha! Yeah! The kind of light that turns red! Buh trust me; don’t think he’ll have been this cute if dark. His height? Make a guess! How tall do u think? Correct! About 6feet two inches!  Jeez Di! U need to see the soul lifting gap in his teeth. Oh Jeesus! He doesn’t open his mouth enough to notice it often buh gosh! The eji takes my breath away! With that alone, I think he’s absolutely beautiful on the outside!  I think he has a beautiful inside too. When love and fear of God drives you, you sure would have a pretty inside I believe…Moreover, from the first day I saw him, a little bird told me something*Smile* you’ll pay me to tell you that part! 

Nevertheless, the shadow of his(and perhaps mine too) past won’t let us be! He’s been battered and broken and so he is treading slowly…perhaps too slowly for me…yeah! He’s got legitimate issues and yeah! In the ‘beginning’, I actually thought he was a No! No! But right now, he’s my world and I’m hungry for an assurance that I’m His too but No! He won’t assure me! And like all Christian brothers that kick your ass in the end, he’s praying about it!

Like his past, he thinks I’ll walk away when reality sets in or he’s still watching and waiting to find the flaw that would make him release me! Or maybe, he’s just got that sneaky little feeling that I’m not the one for him…who knows……perceive indecision, deception, ephemerality….yet, I’m giving love a chance again….

I can’t tell whether this relationship is worth fighting for or worth hanging on to. Yet I’m in it still! Why you ask? Because I’ve tried a plethora of times to stay out of it without success. So Di! Right now, I have two options! To let it die a natural death or let it live till death do us part…. I have kicked the ball out of my court; Let the wind blow it to the most appropriate direction…

For now diary, let’s not talk about this matter…we are just Seven months old by the way!

cheers!

MY RIGHT TO DIE

If I have a right to live, why shouldn’t I have a right to die? Actually thoughts like this race through my mind a lot especially when the issue of Euthanasia (mercy Killing) is debated….Yeah…. E.U.T.H.A.N.S.I.A! As there are people awaiting trial in prisons, there are also people awaiting death…and I can only imagine how terrible either case is! Waiting is never easy! I particularly hate to wait! But life would always teach us to wait for something… Whether it’s waiting for a bus, a friend, a life partner, a baby, a promotion or even a job, it’s never easy! Doesn’t the Bible Say that Hope deferred makes the heart sick! How terrible it would seem for those who have to wait in pain for their Death Day!  And yet, the law doesn’t give them the right to die….

I honestly prefer to remain reticent on issues like Abortion, Euthanasia and the likes but hey! What better place do I have to release my thoughts than on paper (or well, yeah, my blog). There’s no gainsaying that people take the issue of Death really personally and most people fear death.  Not me! Yeah! I’ve never feared to die!  I actually grew up with the consciousness of death.  I remember that as a child, anytime I saw the pain and confusion in my parent’s eyes, I’ll start praying to die so that my folks can be relieved. By age 16, I had written out my epitaph. I had beautiful thoughts of my burial and how beautiful my tomb would be with those words written on it (That reminds me, I should find the journal I wrote it in). Seriously, the thought of my death and burial made me smile. I had a crisis in my final year in the University that tarried for a while and I was sure I was going to die…As I saw my classmates and even lectures troop in each day, My heart gladdened at the number of people to be recorded at my burial *smile*. Rather than stay in a hospital bed wailing in pain and stressing my folks, I thought it was better to die and go to Heaven…a Place where there’s neither pain nor tears.

Assuming the pain a sickler experiences is minute and for a short period, what can we say of a person who had an accident and becomes paralyzed from head to toe, he can no longer do anything for himself and to make matters worse, Doctors say nothing can be done about the situation*smh* I do believe in miracles but how long can a person wait? Sometimes, the victim is a complete vegetable and the family is left to continually spend time and energy catering for the victim endlessly. I wouldn’t want to go into all the bitter cases on Euthanasia I know of in this piece but I must say that I can’t understand why some countries totally criminalize it. I hail countries like Netherlands that permits euthanasia under strict conditions…but for most countries, it remains a crime.*Smh*

The most prevailing argument on issues like this is religious but I’m yet to find superior argument.  In my opinion, the most superior argument against Euthanasia is palliative care. If the terminally ill can find people who really love, care and give hope upon hope, Perhaps they wouldn’t want to die… But alas! In Nigeria, my Nigeria where I’m almost sure there’s a dearth of such centers (yes! centers cause friends and family will surely get tired!), why wouldn’t one rather elect death? Hey preacher, don’t start the sermon! Yeah yeah! God gives and God takes; only God has the right to take a life bla bla! I need a preacher to preach it right to me in a language I’ll understand. But for now, here’s what I believe: If I have a right to life, I should have a right to die. Even God has given us the power of choice and He says in his word, I set before you life and death…choose… (See Deuteronomy 30:19) Apparently, the choice is ours!

And hey! Before you start getting all emotional and judgmental, it’s my right to choose and I choose life! *wink*

Happy living all!

PS: After writing this piece, I had a dream...and God told me via that dream that He is a God that steps in in the nick of time. Next, he gave me a Rhema! Please check it out in Mark 12:24….I’m humbled Lord, help me…

Victim of 'Niceness'.

A friend of mine usually says:  ‘Wunmi, you’re not nice’ and my usual response is like ‘Duh! I don’t wanna be nice! Niceness is not a fruit of the spirit’! LOL!

But really! I think I’m a nice girl! Lol! A very nice one! LOL! Not like I like being nice oh! I guess I’m just nice by default! Now, more seriously! I hate the word nice and I hate it when people say Wunmi is a nice girl! I’ll rather be qualified with better words! I just can’t explain why I detest the word…

People call me nice for different reasons, but I’ll rather describe myself as tough yet compassionate, prudent yet a giver, incorrigible yet teachable. He!he!he! Am I blowing my trumpet? LOL! But seriously that’s the way I see myself! And one more attribute! I love and bruise easily…

Now to the Topic!  The phrase came to my head as I thought of this dude I just met!  Between us I feel the fire! So much so that I seemed to go all out for him… And alas! It struck me! Don’t do it again girl! Not again! Don’t be a victim of your niceness again! *smile*

I’ve always been a ‘fix’ it girl... I mean, I think I’m attracted to broken people. People who need mending somehow, whether spiritually, financially or emotionally! For whatever reason, I naturally gravitate towards such people.  Now God help me when it’s a man I ‘like’! That’s where I fall victim...

The usual thing (in retrospect) is that the guy capitalizes on it and then disappears after he is fixed or he disappears when he realizes that ‘it’s not just fair to keep doing this to this nice girl’, whichever comes sooner; OR on the other hand, while I go about my niceness purely and innocently, the guy starts to think things and everything gets ruined… The good thing is that I never regret any good deed…

Many say to me: Never do this or that for a guy bla bla bla; and it’s like I’m not taking learnings! But honestly, it seems I can’t help it. It has become a very overwhelming issue in my life and I’ve tried different ways to save myself. In fact, what I try do now is to be friends with people from a distance! When I get a glimpse of issues in a person’s life, I act uninterested until I can do something about it…. At best I keep praying to God about it…until I can fix it…

Once, I concluded that a girl has no business being nice to a guy especially those of us that are nice by default. After all, ere ki l’ere ti omo aja’n ba omo ekun se?*¹ But today, right now, this moment, I’m confused… I can’t even articulate my thoughts on this issue, I don’t know what I’ll teach my girls on this issue…maybe I should ask for tougher girls and more compassionate boys… I seriously don’t know. Maybe I should ask God for a big time Olorunsogo*² and let the surulere*³men get behind me…So there’s no need for ‘fixing’ at all…. He! He! He!  That sounds good oh!

Whichever way Lord, to you I look for direction and wisdom to apply myself. My prayer is best said in Yoruba: Oluwa mi oh! ma je’n sise! Ma je’n sina kin to mona mo!*⁴ Amin!

*¹Why should a puppy and a cub be play mates?

*^{2, 3} Please get someone to interpret.

*⁴My God, do not let me act amiss! Do not let me miss my way before I find it again! Amen!

Forget not the Prisoners!

It was during my Court attachment as a Law School student, a lady was brought into the Court premises in a van with a plethora of prison wardens. Except for the dull disposition, she would pass for a beautiful woman any day. About 5 feet 8 inches tall, light skinned with bright eyes, a flat tummy and a toned body she was certainly the cynosure of all eyes in the Court premises that day. What could this beauty be guilty of?

As people starred and debated, I moved closer to have a better view and instantly I realized I knew her. I couldn’t remember her name. I walked straight up to her anyway and amidst the tight security I reintroduced myself: “Hello ma, Omowunmi Aderoba, Prison unit, The Fountain of Life Church”. Instantly, an amazing glow came upon her and she hugged me tightly, laughing excitedly and saying repeatedly, I’m so happy to see you’. And though I wasn’t half as excited as she was, I joined in the hearty laughter and reciprocated the hug equally as tight as though we were long lost friends.

My colleagues stood afar off, watching us talk and laugh excitedly and itching to know how on earth I knew the accused… I met her just once the year before on a visit to the Kirikiri female prison with members of the Fountain of Life Church. She was one of the leaders of the Christian Fellowship in the Prison. I guess she was just happy to have someone identify with her outside the prison walls. She talked of her unwavering faith in God to vindicate her and make the Court proceedings go well.

And indeed, the case would have gone well but for the shoddy lawyer... The judge was magnanimous enough to accommodate his shoddiness in other to do justice to the matter. The case was adjourned without much done and after that day I forgot about the lady and her case! (I informed the prison unit of my Church about the Court’s proceedings though).

I no longer attend the Fountain of Life Church regularly because I moved out of jurisdiction and in my new church there’s no Prison unit. Prison unit or not, I seem to have forgotten that my desire to study law was birth out of a desire to advocate for the masses, to be a voice for the voiceless and to defend the undefended.  Since my call to Bar, I’ve done nothing about this sect of people rather I now advocate and solicit for companies and the elites…

Today, I remind myself not to forget the prisoners. It’s not just about legal aid now but also about showing them love. Prisoners are like you and me. Indeed, we might say some of them deserve imprisonment but a plethora of them are like you and I. Many of us have committed similar or even greater offences and yet by a stroke of faith, we walk freely. The pathetic irony is that in our society today, a man steals a tuber of yam and is jailed yet another steals billions of Naira in government and is a freeman…

It appears as though we easily remember the physically challenged, the motherless and the widows and aged but we somehow forget those whose Spirit, Soul and body have been imprisoned… The Bible is clear on this issue. Remember those in prison as if you were their fellow prisoners (Hebrews 13:3. See also Matthew 25:36)

I write this to remind myself never to forget them, never to forget the reason I studied law and perhaps, to also nudge YOU and hope that you would remember to visit the prison in your next outreach.*smile*.

Long live the virtues of Charles Colson (Founder, Prison Ministry)!

Long Live the Prison Unit of The Fountain of Life Church!

And three happy cheers to all whom after reading this, would do something!

Cheers!

 

 

 

 

 

Aluu 4: Thinking for the Defence…

I wouldn’t dare take the brief of the Aluu community but then if I was State Counsel or Counsel to the Slain four, I’ll still have to preempt the defence to build a better case for the prosecution. And so, I’ve been thinking? On what grounds should the Aluu community be found guilty? Please don’t crucify me! I certainly do not support jungle justice. I verily believe that Justice must be done according to the Law thus any form of justice not in accordance with the provisions of the law is for all intent and purposes unlawful.

But then I ask myself, why should we cast stones upon the Aluu Community? First, if we go by the principle Jesus applied in the case of the Samaritan woman when he stated “Let Him who is without sin be the first to cast the stone” in John 8:7, then, there’s no doubt that nearly every Nigerian would step aside. Is this the first time we would hear of a mob action by aggrieved members of a community in Nigeria? Or is it only in Lagos that mob justice is prevalent?

The last time I heard people in my neighborhood beating up an alleged thief, I didn’t join them but I was very glad that he was being beaten just like I danced with my class mates in Secondary School at the news of General Sani Abacha’s death. Does that make me mean? Whether or not, my point is that, most of us rejoice when a notorious thief or corrupt personality is caught. We not only rejoice we condemn and sentence them even before they are tried when we can’t lay hands on them. Or don’t we? Why then do we hypocritically condemn members of the Aluu community?

The people had been tormented by robbers and rapist in the days preceding the killing of the Aluu 4 and suddenly there’s news that a group of boys believed to be robbers had been caught! What is the expected Nigerian reaction? In a village for that matter!  Oh Please! Let’s stop acting like we are in the UK or US or some developed State!

Just a month before the Aluu Killing, about 40 students were massacred at Mubi in Adamawa state and we seem to have just glossed over it. Many thanks to Social media for making Aluu4 headlines…My heart still bleeds at the lackadaisical attitude of the government on Mubi Killings….but I’ll just focus on the Aluu killings for now…

Perhaps, the measures taken by the members of the Aluu community were extreme. Perhaps only very heartless people would use such heavy planks to hit unarmed young men. But then, it is obvious that the members of the community were extremely indignant. I do not say that extreme indignation is a defence in law. Neither do I say that it is moral justification. I’m just trying to put myself in the shoes of the Aluu community. I’m just trying to think for the defence… *smile*

 But seriously! What would I have done if I was a member of the Aluu community? I may not have joined in the beating and again I just might! Especially if my sister had been raped at home or my uncle’s house had been robbed or my aunt had been kidnapped by notorious armed robbers’ weeks before the boys were caught. And even if I will not pick a plank to beat them, I’ll be extremely happy that others were beating them. I certainly would not address the crowd on the presumption of innocence at that time! I most definately won’t remember at that time that such a phrase existed!

What would you have done? *pause* Let him who is without sin be the first to cast the stone! And also for those who would have done the ‘right thing’ in the circumstance, let’s all cast the stones in the right direction…

There’s no gainsaying that jungle-justice prevails in a society where the rule of law is abhorred by the makers and enforcers of the Law. A society where justice is constantly delayed a society where security of lives and property does not seem to be a germaine issue for the government… and the populace have ‘no choice’ but to take the laws into their hands.

Pitiably, Nigeria is such a state, a failed state, a retrogressive a state, one in which the citizens have become local governments for and of themselves. We dig our own boreholes, we supply our own power with generators and inverters, we give our children basic education, and yet you say we should not make and enforce our own laws! Every day, we see Hardened criminals escape justice, crimes being poorly investigated, Security issues being treated with kid gloves and yet, you say we shouldn’t take laws in our hands…oh please!

I pity the people of Aluu that have been labelled witches and wizards and all sorts...the latest taboo in Nigeria today is marrying from the Aluu community…I most especially pity someone who is in jail right now for allegedly participating in the killing because she indignantly  threw  a small plank at the boys. (Assuming those that threw heavy bricks and planks are guilty for so doing). They are all victims of bad governance and nothing more!

I’m thankful for Social Media. The publicity of the killings has been overwhelming. Yet, I ask myself, of what good is the video of how a son was killed to the mother? It only makes the death more painful… I sorrow and grieve with the family and friends of the four young men who met their end for being in the ‘right’ place at the wrong time. (Assuming the story that they only went to recover a debt is true). I grieve that such bright destinies perished simply because the people lack faith in the criminal justice system!!!

I do not advocate for mob- justice, it is to all intent and purposes legally, morally and spiritually wrong. What I advocate for is change in governance. Let’s not pretend like Aluu4 killings is one of a kind! It happens every day, all over Nigeria! And it will happen again tomorrow if there’s no change! I advocate that we cast our stones not on the people of Aluu but on our government!  Let’s stone them until change comes…

Meanwhile, as we channel the wind of change, I pray the souls of the departed rest in peace. Amen.